Alternative Director of Football Advert

Barnsley Football Club reluctantly unveils a job opening, brought to you by our not-so-expert partners, MRKT Insights and Football Careers. Drumroll, please, for the position of Director of Football - because, let's face it, we could use all the help we can get.

In this not-so-thrilling, but hey-we-tried post, we're desperately seeking a candidate who can help us figure out what we're doing with this football club thing. The goal? Operate something vaguely resembling a football club, sustainably. Community focus? Well, that's a bonus, right? And by the way, 'driven by analytical processes and data-informed decision making' is just a fancy way of saying we hope you're good with Excel.

Your primary duty? Reporting to the board, and basically being the face of the club in a friendly, positive, and professional manner. But hey, if you can throw in a joke or two to lighten the mood, that'd be great. Be committed and visible, especially when things are falling apart - which is more often than we'd like to admit.

Encourage analytics and data use? Sure, if you can figure out what that means. Negotiating transfers and contracts? If you can haggle like you're at a flea market, you're our hero. Collaborate with heads of departments? Just make sure they're doing something productive. And oh, you get to create a 'game model' - because our current one seems to involve a lot of confusion.

Responsibility for the vision? That's on you. Innovate by stealing ideas from successful clubs? We won't judge. Perform ad hoc duties? Translation: you'll be doing all the stuff no one else wants to do.

But wait, there's more! You get to lead the culture and success of the club. Good luck with that. We hope you're an 'excellent communicator,' because you'll need to explain a lot of things to a lot of confused faces.

In summary, if you're the best individual (or the only one desperate enough) to take on this challenge, congratulations! The opportunity to make a 'real difference' awaits. And by 'real difference,' we mean preventing this ship from sinking further. Apply now, or don't. We're not picky.

 

You forgot the flatbreads and Pork Giros.