Alternative film endings - Pretty Woman

Discussion in 'Bulletin Board ARCHIVE' started by Isle of Wight Tyke, Mar 24, 2006.

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  1. Isl

    Isle of Wight Tyke Active Member

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    This film would have been greatly improved if after seeing a bit of arse and some pants in the opening credits, it cut to Julia Roberts and her hooker mate standing on a street corner, Richard Gere pulls up, Julia Roberts jumps in the car and they are stopped by the police.

    Short and a more realistic view of a hookers life and the punters that shag them for money.

    Might need a different musical score though.
     
    Isle of Wight Tyke, Mar 24, 2006
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  2. Gue

    Guest Guest

    Titantic

    Incident free cruise across the ocean
     
    Guest, Mar 24, 2006
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  3. Jim

    Jimmy Red New Member

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    RE: Titantic

    :pff that would make for an exciting storyline :pff
     
    Jimmy Red, Mar 24, 2006
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  4. Gue

    Guest Guest

    Forrest Gump

    Put in a home at 16 and forgotten about.
     
    Guest, Mar 24, 2006
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  5. Rosco

    Rosco Well-Known Member

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    Saving Private Ryan

    First scene - Omaha Beach, shells whistling overhead, machine gun tracer rips the surf apart. Landing craft emerge from the smoke.

    Cut to crew of german 88mm anti-tank gun on cliff top. Officer sights landing craft, shouts very loudly in German to his crew, the feverishly man-handle the gun to its new position, load shell, sight taget. Boom.

    Landing craft erupts in flame and molten steel, those who are not torn to shred by shrapnel are picked off my machine gunners and snipers, the rest sink to their watery graves.

    The End.
     
    Rosco, Mar 24, 2006
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  6. E.I. Addio

    E.I. Addio Well-Known Member

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    Kes

    Casper suddenly realises after the death of his bird that being a low-rent Lundwoodite with no self-esteem and no prospects decides to work hard at school He gets 5 straight A's at A level then a first in celestial mechanics at Oxford. At the same time Brian Glover becomes Barnsley's first team coach and, with Caspers help on the wing leads the club to First division, FA and European cup glory where, after Barnsley score a late winner against AC Milan Glover's heart gives out and dies in Casper coal-streaked arms. Casper then drops into despair and returns to Lundwood to be a tw@t again.

    Had me in tears.
     
    E.I. Addio, Mar 24, 2006
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  7. Gue

    Guest Guest

    Any James Bond

    The baddy just feckin shoots him when he catches him instead of locking him up somewhere with an hour to go to save the world
     
    Guest, Mar 24, 2006
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  8. E.I. Addio

    E.I. Addio Well-Known Member

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    Agreed

    or at least stick around and make sure the tw@t gets cut in half by that laser thingy
     
    E.I. Addio, Mar 24, 2006
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  9. Jim

    Jimmy Red New Member

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    RE: Any James Bond

    (lol) that would be good.
     
    Jimmy Red, Mar 24, 2006
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  10. Gue

    Guest Guest

    The Towering Inferno

    Sprinkler system works
     
    Guest, Mar 24, 2006
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  11. E.I. Addio

    E.I. Addio Well-Known Member

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    Alien

    Science Officer: Captain, we've picked up a transmission from a nearby planet. Shall we nip down and investigate?

    Captain: Nar, f*ck it.
     
    E.I. Addio, Mar 24, 2006
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  12. Gue

    Guest Guest

    Basic Instinct

    Sharon Stone has a headache, Michael Douglas has brewers droop
     
    Guest, Mar 24, 2006
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  13. S.M.

    S.M. Well-Known Member

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    Escape to Victory

    penalty retaken, Stallone moved off his line.
     
    S.M., Mar 24, 2006
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  14. Spa

    Spartacus Well-Known Member

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    The great escape

    Just prior to the big breakout, the war ends prematurely and all are sent home.Donald Pleasance deliriously jumps for joy as he leaves the camp, stumbles into a minefield and is blown to smithereens.
     
    Spartacus, Mar 24, 2006
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  15. Red

    Red Rag Active Member

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    Lord of the Rings

    The ring sinks deep into the river mud at the very beginning and is never spotted in the first place.</p>

    Gandalf gets sectioned and removed for wearing silly clothes in public and Bilbo Baggins is throttled by an abusive father at an early age.</p>
     
    Red Rag, Mar 24, 2006
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  16. Jim

    Jimmy Red New Member

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    Phone Booth

    Colin Farrel just refuses to pick up the phon in the first place - it would save an hour an half stood in a phone box
     
    Jimmy Red, Mar 24, 2006
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  17. Cas

    Casper Well-Known Member

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    RE: Kes

    nice one
    very very funny
    but did he get Kes stuffed?
     
    Casper, Mar 24, 2006
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  18. E.I. Addio

    E.I. Addio Well-Known Member

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    Stuffed and mounted.

    Standing prouder than a honeymooner's dick in the bulging Barnsley trophy room.
     
    E.I. Addio, Mar 24, 2006
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  19. Cas

    Casper Well-Known Member

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    RE: Stuffed and mounted.

    Great detail
    Just as i hoped
    thanks for filling in the gaps
     
    Casper, Mar 24, 2006
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  20. Che

    Chef Tyke Well-Known Member

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    The Terminator

    Arnie gets arrested for indecent exposure
     
    Chef Tyke, Mar 24, 2006
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