an old RITZ joke

Discussion in 'Bulletin Board ARCHIVE' started by oldtimer1928, Oct 15, 2008.

  1. old

    oldtimer1928 New Member

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    yes,i remember the good old days
    when i used to the Ritz
    went one day,the place was Packed
    not a seat,to be found,
    the usherette says to me there is a place right at the front
    there was 20 mins left,of the film to go
    i could not wait
    so we went right to the front,she there it is shining her torch
    across the auduence
    so i made my way to this seat
    it was very comfy
    and i could see the screen very clear
    after about ten mins
    some one else comes and sitis next#to me,
    then he starts looking in a basket
    i thought "whats he brought his lunch for"
    then he nudges me,
    and says Move up a bit,
    Puzled i moves up a bit,
    then he says ,move up a bit more
    i say,rollocks,im Not
    he then shoves me and say me up sithee
    i says im not shifting ,any further
    he then says,
    OREIGHT THEN PLAY BLOODY ORGAN
    WHEN IT COMES UP THEN PWILLOCK
     
  2. Geriatrictyke

    Geriatrictyke New Member

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    Not many on here will remember Ritz

    Best 1/2 crown spent int posh circle wi a bird, seats were in pairs,no arm inbetween , Them were the days....
     
  3. barnsley66

    barnsley66 Well-Known Member

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    only ever saw it played once

    remember the chandaliers from the ceiling though.

    AND saw my first "X" film there!

    Barbarella!

    Still got a thing about Jane Fonda!
     
  4. old

    oldtimer1928 New Member

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    RE: only ever saw it played once

    Oh well, you see the advatage of being 80
    i even saw regggie Dixon plying there
    and not only that they would let come off
    and i had walk Back to Birdwell after midnight
    but whatt a treat
     
  5. stevie

    stevie New Member

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    RE: Not many on here will remember Ritz

    Futurist Cinema at Elsecar we're same, double seats on back row, fumble a plenty....


    [​IMG]
     
  6. Was

    Wastyke New Member

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    RE: only ever saw it played once

    I saw it a few times and I think the Organist was Trevor Willets who years after played at the Swaithe Club.
     
  7. Mrs

    MrsHallsToffeerolls Well-Known Member

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    RE: only ever saw it played once

    Trevor Willetts lived in Wombwell up Wood Walk. Played Swaithe regularly.
     
  8. old

    oldtimer1928 New Member

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    RE: Not many on here will remember Ritz

    i can remember em all Stevie
    thanks for the Memories
    i must play the on me k Board
    i think i,lll sing it n all
     
  9. Was

    Wastyke New Member

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  10. old

    oldtimer1928 New Member

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    RE: only ever saw it played once

    Aye,and he was
    just like Mr Dixon
    very good
    you can see where get my memories to pay
    my u tube stuff
    corr what a dream
     
  11. stevie

    stevie New Member

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    RE: Not many on here will remember Ritz

    You do just that Bob, oh and its fantastic to have you back posting....

    Sites getting short on characters mate, and you're for sure a topper....
     
  12. old

    oldtimer1928 New Member

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    RE: Peel Street site used to be Ted Reynolds Ford Garage

    Fantastic
    i Love u Wassy
     
  13. madmark62

    madmark62 Well-Known Member

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    I used to go to ABC, as it was then, every saturday morning

    great memories.
     
  14. Glo

    GloucesterRedsBigBro Well-Known Member

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    I went to't lambra on Saturday morning we were more common.
     
  15. unc

    uncle mort New Member

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    what was sex film int he 60's when the gave away stickers of the male/female symbles

    anyway saw that at Ritz, late 60's
     
  16. unc

    uncle mort New Member

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    got it, "the family way", hayly mills I think nt
     
  17. Geriatrictyke

    Geriatrictyke New Member

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    And you just didnt pay & walk in U had to Queue

    If it were a good film U could be queing right back to peel square bogs... Happy days no telly and thousands of flat caps on the terraces.
     
  18. Was

    Wastyke New Member

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  19. Jay

    Jay Well-Known Member

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    What a cool looking building

    Look at all the jars of sweets in shop next door too.
     

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