Any tips on how to bring on labour for child birth ?

Discussion in 'Bulletin Board ARCHIVE' started by Scarthy, May 12, 2008.

Page 1 of 2
  1. Sca

    Scarthy Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Oct 9, 2006
    Messages:
    1,566
    Likes Received:
    166
    Trophy Points:
    63
    Home Page:
    Style:
    Barnsley (full width)
    Wife is a week overdue and I'd really like her to crack on with it so I can catch some of the good weather when I have a few days off.
    Thanks
     
    Scarthy, May 12, 2008
    #1
  2. kestyke

    kestyke Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jul 26, 2005
    Messages:
    3,413
    Likes Received:
    1,691
    Trophy Points:
    113
    Location:
    In the chestnut tree cafe, waiting
    Home Page:
    Style:
    Barnsley
    Some gentle walks in the countryside, with a few hills thrown in. Nowt much just a couple of miles tops. </p>
     
    kestyke, May 12, 2008
    #2
  3. bright red

    bright red Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Feb 23, 2007
    Messages:
    3,017
    Likes Received:
    729
    Trophy Points:
    113
    Home Page:
    Style:
    Barnsley (full width)
    Just tell her that you've got a chance of a lad's night out tomorrow. Should see the young un pop out in about 24 hours.
     
    bright red, May 12, 2008
    #3
  4. Isl

    Isle of Wight Tyke Active Member

    Joined:
    Jul 18, 2005
    Messages:
    5,832
    Likes Received:
    4
    Trophy Points:
    38
    Home Page:
    Style:
    Barnsley (full width)
    apparently sperm can bring on contractions, I'll send some in the post again.

    erm....good luck.
     
    Isle of Wight Tyke, May 12, 2008
    #4
  5. War

    War Tyke New Member

    Joined:
    Jan 16, 2008
    Messages:
    448
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    0
    Home Page:
    A good curry works.
     
    War Tyke, May 12, 2008
    #5
  6. Sca

    Scarthy Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Oct 9, 2006
    Messages:
    1,566
    Likes Received:
    166
    Trophy Points:
    63
    Home Page:
    Style:
    Barnsley (full width)
    Thanks

    Can you watch your diet before you next deposit though, and cut out the protein. She found your last effort a little tart. It worked wonders on the bathroom tiles though.
     
    Scarthy, May 12, 2008
    #6
  7. *Windy

    *Windy Banned Idiot

    Joined:
    Aug 12, 2007
    Messages:
    8,416
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    0
    Home Page:
    Send her for 6,000 t shirts in a long wheelbase tranny. nt
     
    *Windy, May 12, 2008
    #7
  8. fir

    fired Administrator Staff Member Admin

    Joined:
    Oct 15, 2007
    Messages:
    16,609
    Likes Received:
    12,657
    Trophy Points:
    113
    Style:
    Barnsley (full width)
    Well I could tell you in a PM what worked for me!!

    :D

    Actually, when you go overdue, and you have the appointment with the midwife to check things over, they often do what is called "a sweep" (which I'll leave to your imagination)... it is the first attempt (before drugs) to bring on the onset of labour. From experience, whilst it not too horrible, there is a function that a husband could do that achieves the same thing & is definitelty preferable. Have a nice evening! :D
     
    fired, May 12, 2008
    #8
  9. Ruf

    Rufus New Member

    Joined:
    Jan 31, 2006
    Messages:
    2,849
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    0
    Location:
    Wakefield Road
    Home Page:
    Sex with my wife was brilliant when she was pregnant.....

    so I'm told.
     
    Rufus, May 12, 2008
    #9
  10. Ady

    Ady Active Member

    Joined:
    Jul 20, 2005
    Messages:
    6,837
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    36
    Location:
    Home
    Home Page:
    Same here with mine..

    She has 6 weeks to go and is huge but boy the sex is great.

    (Y)
     
    Ady, May 12, 2008
    #10
  11. Jay

    Jay Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jul 18, 2005
    Messages:
    43,333
    Likes Received:
    31,959
    Trophy Points:
    113
    Location:
    On Sofa
    Style:
    Barnsley
    Get her boffed mate

    Best way apparently. Not sure up the bum is much good though.
     
    Jay, May 12, 2008
    #11
  12. Y Goch

    Y Goch Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jul 18, 2005
    Messages:
    2,079
    Likes Received:
    208
    Trophy Points:
    63
    Location:
    Aberystwyth / Papua New Guinea
    Style:
    Barnsley (full width)
    better still

    we all have a go
     
    Y Goch, May 12, 2008
    #12
  13. Eaststand Lower

    Eaststand Lower Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Aug 5, 2006
    Messages:
    11,681
    Likes Received:
    237
    Trophy Points:
    63
    Location:
    Tarn End
    Home Page:
    Style:
    Barnsley (full width)
    When My Ex Was Overdue

    She had a cup of Raspberry leaf tea before i rattled her. She waters broke about 1 hour later
     
    Eaststand Lower, May 12, 2008
    #13
  14. Sca

    Scarthy Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Oct 9, 2006
    Messages:
    1,566
    Likes Received:
    166
    Trophy Points:
    63
    Home Page:
    Style:
    Barnsley (full width)
    You've not met my wife Captain Sheep Shagger nt
     
    Scarthy, May 12, 2008
    #14
  15. W1z

    W1zz Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Feb 5, 2008
    Messages:
    4,155
    Likes Received:
    315
    Trophy Points:
    83
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Barnsley
    Style:
    Barnsley (full width)
    RE: Same here with mine..

    Make the most of it - Cos afterwards you may as well stick yer todger in a tin of rice puddin. :D
     
    W1zz, May 12, 2008
    #15
  16. fen

    fentyke Member

    Joined:
    Oct 10, 2007
    Messages:
    59
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    6
    RE: Get her boffed mate

    A bit of the old in out, in out worked for my misses too. 1 jump (and I don;t mind telling ya it was the last for a good while too) and 12 hours later I'm this poor little sods father.
     
    fentyke, May 12, 2008
    #16
  17. W1z

    W1zz Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Feb 5, 2008
    Messages:
    4,155
    Likes Received:
    315
    Trophy Points:
    83
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Barnsley
    Style:
    Barnsley (full width)
    There's some sort of hormone in yer seaman that causes the cervix to thin - It's like the gel stuff they use to induce em. Suppose to have be a synthetic man made equivalent of pig seaman.

    Hot Curry then Sex - Although be warned, if she goes into labour and is still stuffed on curry, be careful where you stand when she starts pushin. /poo
     
    W1zz, May 12, 2008
    #17
  18. Kezza

    Kezza New Member

    Joined:
    Jul 18, 2005
    Messages:
    46
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    0
    Location:
    Gawber
    Home Page:
    Hot bath, hot curry, hot sex. All in the same evening! Thats what i tell my ladies (I'm a midwife you see). You could also try raspberry leaf tea or pineapple. Don't bother with castor oil tho cos this will give her diarrhoea and you definitely don't want that when she's in labour!!!
     
    Kezza, May 12, 2008
    #18
  19. red

    redtail New Member

    Joined:
    Dec 7, 2007
    Messages:
    778
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    0
    Home Page:
    buy her a skipping rope
     
    redtail, May 12, 2008
    #19
  20. zet

    zetland New Member

    Joined:
    Mar 3, 2008
    Messages:
    615
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    0
    Semen - anybody's!
     
    zetland, May 13, 2008
    #20
Page 1 of 2

Share This Page