Anybody know how to wipe their own arse ?

After a **** ?</p>

 There's toilet roll next to the bog, but nothing that says how to use it.</p>

 

Ask Google.

It knows like everyfink.

 

Use you're hand to remove the poo

and then clean your fingers with the paper, I think?

 

I did

And got dis :</p>



http://www.warrenellis.com/?p=1985</p>

 

RE: Use you're hand to remove the poo

I'll try that.

 

If you wear pants you don't need to wipe apparently.

Most people who use buses apply this technique.

 

Why is that Mr Mental always sits next to me on the bus?

Even when there are plenty of other seats available.

 

I think they're attracted to people who smell the same.

 

Perhaps I need to address my hygiene issues. I'll make bath night twice weekly.

A bloke the other day smelt like tarmac.

 

was he called Adam?

 

I bow down to your musical knowledge.

Google search: "Tarmac Adam, what the chuff is IOWT on about".

 

it's the full name for tarmac or something or it's a brand, like hoover. Something like that anyway.

Not sure, I'm ashamed I posted it to be fair. But I don't normally communicate with bus mentalists.

 

It's usually best to avoid them but you often don't have a choice when it comes to communication. I've got smiling and nodding down to a fine art.

I was in Southsea the other day. I waved.

 

How's Church Crookham ?

 

RE: How's Church Crookham ?

Yeah, settled in well thanks. Still looking for the definitive 'local' to call my own. The commute to Abingdon isn't as bad as I thought it would be and the missus has got no probs getting into Farnborough (apart from now the air show is on)

Turns out the lady next door has family from Barnsley....small world and all that.

 

very small world

You could do worse than a walk out to Dogmersfield to the Queens Head, more for food than for a pint mind

 

RE: very small world

Right cheers, I'll have a look for it on my way back tonight.

Are you in Hartley Wintney?

 

You're not meant to wipe it. You let it all harden and, if there are any substantial tagnuts, you pull them off with pliers. That's what I do, anyway.

And yes, I am single, although I'm sure the two things are in no way related.

 

You'd be surprised though how many women seem to have a problem with a bloke struggling to wipe his own arse.</p>



I only came out of the bogs in the restaraunt once to ask.</p>

 

About a mile outside the village

Little place called Dipley

nice part of the world to be living in