Bart time we had another joke thread, not seen one for a while

A woman is shopping for a pet as a gift for her husband, but she is concerned that the prices that the Pet Shop are charging are very high. She goes to the assistant and explains her concern. "Well, I have a frog in the back that I can let you have for £50," the assistant says. "£50?" the woman replies. "That seems terribly expensive for a frog."

"Well, this frog is worth it. It's been trained to give blow jobs."

The woman is stunned, but because her husband loves this sort of sex, and because she is not particularly fond of it, she decides the frog might be a good investment. She buys the frog, brings it home, presents it to her husband, and explains its special value. The husband is sceptical, but promises he'll give the frog a try that night. The woman goes to sleep happily knowing she won't be bothered by her husband that night.

She is suddenly awakened by a clatter coming from the kitchen. She goes downstairs and finds the frog and her husband pulling out pots and pans and poring over cookbooks.

"What are you two doing down here?" she asks. Her husband responds, "If I can teach this frog to cook, you're out of here!"

 

Question????

What's the difference between a woman having her period and a crazed psychopath charging around with a machete, 2 machine guns and a running chainsaw?

 

The psycopath will only bother you once

 

Good answer, but no nt

 

at least you can reason with the psychopath

 

That's it, spot on nt

 

Dee dar cat story

A woman telephoned a vet and asked him to come and examine her cat. "I don't know what's wrong with her," the woman told him. "She looks as if she's going to have kittens, but that's impossible. She's never been out of the house except for when I had her on a leash." The vet examined the cat and said there was no question about her pregnancy.

"But she can't be," protested the woman. "It's impossible."

At that point a large black tom cat emerged from under the sofa.

"How about him?" asked the vet.

"Don't be silly," answered the woman. "That's her brother."

 

RE: Dee dar cat story

 

Best Friends!!!!!!!!

<img src = "http://img02.picoodle.com/img/img02/3/11/3/f_BestFriendsm_62d50c1.jpg">

 

Puss in Bootees

<img src = "http://img29.picoodle.com/img/img29/3/11/3/f_PussInBootem_1c80a27.jpg">

 

RE: Puss in Bootees

Poor thing i bet it's cold, someones shaved it's lovely coat off

 

Honest, I haven't seen your golf balls

<img src = "http://img29.picoodle.com/img/img29/3/11/3/f_GolfBallsm_124bc05.jpg">

 

Shaved pussy

<img src ="http://i36.tinypic.com/2vt49it.jpg">

 

RE: Shaved pussy

Poor thing and it looks terrified, don't like that picture. Cute pussy picture required please

 

Watch out, D/T may be lurking somewhere

Maybe you should edit that

 

And anyway, what's wrong with this one?

http://www.barnsleyfc.org.uk/BBS/forums/thread-view.asp?tid=124770&mid=826503#M826503

 

Why do women watch porn movies right to the end?

To see if they get married.

 

He won't let us down bless him, we'll see a lewd comment added later nt

 

Nothing - well cute nt