BBS "Bloke Test"

Discussion in 'Bulletin Board ARCHIVE' started by Merde Tete, Feb 24, 2006.

  1. Merde Tete

    Merde Tete Well-Known Member

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    How many BBSers.....

    1 Can recite the 1912 cup winning team?
    (bonus point for the 1910 runners up)

    2 Have travelled more than 300 miles for a midweek away match?
    (bonus point if it was a meaningless fixture or in the ZDS Cup)

    3 Have fitted a kitchen / bathroom/ bedroom themselves?
    (bonus point if you had to call in a professional to complete /rectify the work within a month)

    4 Have skipped a train fare by pretending to be asleep / hiding in the toilet?
    (bonus point if you got caught and bollocked or fined)

    5 Have done a runner from a restaurant without paying?
    (bonus point if you were a regular there and the food was edible)

    6 Can speak a foreign language proficiently apart from pidgin Spanish / French / German learnt at school?
    (bonus point if the language doesn’t have a proper alphabet, like Chinese)

    7 Have been arrested abroad?
    (bonus point if you had a spend any time in a foreign nick / bribe the police to get out)

    8. Have slept with someone you work with?
    (bonus point if it was a superior)

    9 Have slept with two sisters?
    (bonus point if it was at the same time)

    10 Have slept with someone you met on the internet?
    (bonus point if when you met face-to-face she was nothing like on the photo, but you went and did it anyway)

    11 Have slept with someone at least 18 years older than yourself?
    (bonus point if it was a mate’s mum)

    12 Have been caught by your missus in bed with someone else?
    (bonus point if you managed to successfully talk your way out of it)

    13 Have been fleeced / had money stolen by a prostitute?
    (bonus point if it was during the act)

    14 Have ever killed a decent sized animal?
    (bonus point if it was someone’s pet)

    15 Have managed to sustain a spoof alias on the BBS for more than a week without being rumbled?
    (bonus point if anyone actually responded to your posts)

    16 Have been sick in a public place without any major recriminations?
    (bonus point if you were sick on some people as well)

    17 Have had an altercation with a homeless person, usually regarding the legitimacy of their “homeless” status and their asking you for money?
    (bonus point if it escalated to fisticuffs)

    18 Have slept a night outdoors unplanned?
    (bonus point if it was in Central London and / or you were wearing a shirt and tie at the time)

    19 Have invited a member of the opposite sex round for dinner, and prepared all the food out of packets and ready meals?
    (bonus point if she noticed)

    20 Have ever been thrown out of Oakwell?
    (bonus point if you managed to get back in again before the end of the match)
     
  2. Gue

    Guest Guest

    Yes to

    2.4.5.8.9.12.15.16.18.19
     
  3. Redstone

    Redstone Well-Known Member

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    1 Can recite the 1912 cup winning team? NO
    (bonus point for the 1910 runners up)

    2 Have travelled more than 300 miles for a midweek away match? YES
    (bonus point if it was a meaningless fixture or in the ZDS Cup)

    3 Have fitted a kitchen / bathroom/ bedroom themselves? YES
    (bonus point if you had to call in a professional to complete /rectify the work within a month)

    4 Have skipped a train fare by pretending to be asleep / hiding in the toilet? ALL THE TIME
    (bonus point if you got caught and bollocked or fined)

    5 Have done a runner from a restaurant without paying? NO
    (bonus point if you were a regular there and the food was edible)

    6 Can speak a foreign language proficiently apart from pidgin Spanish / French / German learnt at school?
    (bonus point if the language doesn’t have a proper alphabet, like Chinese)NO

    7 Have been arrested abroad?
    (bonus point if you had a spend any time in a foreign nick / bribe the police to get out) YES

    8. Have slept with someone you work with?
    (bonus point if it was a superior)NO I WORK WITH MEN SO IT WOULD MEAN A MAJOR LIFESTYLE CHOICE

    9 Have slept with two sisters?
    (bonus point if it was at the same time) YES

    10 Have slept with someone you met on the internet?
    (bonus point if when you met face-to-face she was nothing like on the photo, but you went and did it anyway) NO

    11 Have slept with someone at least 18 years older than yourself?
    (bonus point if it was a mate’s mum) NO

    12 Have been caught by your missus in bed with someone else?
    (bonus point if you managed to successfully talk your way out of it)NOT THE CURRENT MISSUS

    13 Have been fleeced / had money stolen by a prostitute? NO
    (bonus point if it was during the act)

    14 Have ever killed a decent sized animal? YES RAN OVER A DOG
    (bonus point if it was someone’s pet)

    15 Have managed to sustain a spoof alias on the BBS for more than a week without being rumbled?
    (bonus point if anyone actually responded to your posts)

    16 Have been sick in a public place without any major recriminations?
    (bonus point if you were sick on some people as well) NO

    17 Have had an altercation with a homeless person, usually regarding the legitimacy of their “homeless” status and their asking you for money? NO
    (bonus point if it escalated to fisticuffs)

    18 Have slept a night outdoors unplanned? YES
    (bonus point if it was in Central London and / or you were wearing a shirt and tie at the time)

    19 Have invited a member of the opposite sex round for dinner, and prepared all the food out of packets and ready meals?
    (bonus point if she noticed) YES

    20 Have ever been thrown out of Oakwell? NO
    (bonus point if you managed to get back in again before the end of the match)
     
  4. Gue

    Guest Guest

    Are you reading mam ?

    2 Have travelled more than 300 miles for a midweek away match?
    (bonus point if it was a meaningless fixture or in the ZDS Cup) YES


    5 Have done a runner from a restaurant without paying?
    (bonus point if you were a regular there and the food was edible) - YES IN AN INDIAN AND THEY CHASED US - WAS SO SCARED THAT A BIT OF WEE SEEPED OUT

    8. Have slept with someone you work with? MORE THAN 20 TIMES - ONCE WITH THREE WOMEN ON THE SAME DAY
    (bonus point if it was a superior)


    11 Have slept with someone at least 18 years older than yourself? YES - 58 YR OLD WHEN I WAS 23 (WE CALLED HER WIDOW TWANKY)
    (bonus point if it was a mate’s mum)

    13 Have been fleeced / had money stolen by a prostitute? YES AND GOT MARCHED TO A CASHPOINT BY HER THUG TO GET MORE OUT
    (bonus point if it was during the act)

    14 Have ever killed a decent sized animal? DEER X 3
    (bonus point if it was someone’s pet)

    16 Have been sick in a public place without any major recriminations? IN A CHURCH DURING A WEDDING
    (bonus point if you were sick on some people as well)

    18 Have slept a night outdoors unplanned? WATERLOO STATION TWICE
    (bonus point if it was in Central London and / or you were wearing a shirt and tie at the time)
     
  5. Gue

    Guest Guest

    No.8

    Could get me many points. And a few smacks.</p>
     
  6. Gue

    Guest Guest

    Yep - great isn't it

    Bloke I worked with five years ago (and his wife worked there too) maintains to this day that I shagged her
    I did like, but I wish he'd stop going on about it
     
  7. Terry Nutkins

    Terry Nutkins Well-Known Member

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    1 Can recite the 1912 cup winning team?
    <b />(bonus point for the 1910 runners up<b />) <font color="#3333ff">No.....I can cheat if you want. All i can remember is Harry Tufnell, George Lillycrop
    </font>
    2 Have travelled more than 300 miles for a midweek away match?
    <b />(bonus point if it was a meaningless fixture or in the ZDS Cup<b />)  <font color="#3333ff">I went to Plymouth a few seasons before the promotion season. 300 milesish
    </font>
    3 Have fitted a kitchen / bathroom/ bedroom themselves?
    <b />(bonus point if you had to call in a professional to complete /rectify the work within a month<b />) <font color="#3333ff">No</font>

    4 Have skipped a train fare by pretending to be asleep / hiding in the toilet?
    <b />(bonus point if you got caught and bollocked or fined<b />) <font color="#3333ff">Yes and I was arrested in Australia (Cautioned)
    </font>
    5 Have done a runner from a restaurant without paying?
    <b />(bonus point if you were a regular there and the food was edible<b />) <font color="#3333ff">Yes...Chinky on Peel square
    </font>
    6 Can speak a foreign language proficiently apart from pidgin Spanish / French / German learnt at school?
    <b />(bonus point if the language doesn’t have a proper alphabet, like Chinese<b />) <font color="#3333ff">No...don't feckin want to
    </font>
    7 Have been arrested abroad?
    <b />(bonus point if you had a spend any time in a foreign nick / bribe the police to get out<b />) <font color="#3333ff">Yes. Euro 2000 vs Romania. One arrested at the match before the match as reported on BBC news. Yes me. I was deported the next morning without my shoes for some reason.
    </font>
    8. Have slept with someone you work with? <font color="#3333ff">Yes the Mrs!!
    <b /></font>(bonus point if it was a superior<b />) <font color="#3333ff">Superior you're fecking joking.

    </font>9 Have slept with two sisters?
    <b />(bonus point if it was at the same time<b />) <font color="#3333ff">No but cousins (1/2 point??)</font>

    10 Have slept with someone you met on the internet?
    <b />(bonus point if when you met face-to-face she was nothing like on the photo, but you went and did it anyway<b />) <font color="#3333ff">No
    </font>
    11 Have slept with someone at least 18 years older than yourself? <font color="#3333ff">Yes she was 38 and I was 18. Dry fanny....never again.
    <b /></font>(bonus point if it was a mate’s mum<b />)

    12 Have been caught by your missus in bed with someone else? <font color="#3333ff">Yes ( not visually - if that makes sense)
    <b /></font>(bonus point if you managed to successfully talk your way out of it<b />) <font color="#3333ff">Yes
    </font>
    13 Have been fleeced / had money stolen by a prostitute?
    <b />(bonus point if it was during the act<b />) <font color="#3333ff">Yes Bangkok '98
    </font>
    14 Have ever killed a decent sized animal? <font color="#3333ff">Kangaroo in a car '98</font>
    <b />(bonus point if it was someone’s pet<b />)

    15 Have managed to sustain a spoof alias on the BBS for more than a week without being rumbled? <font color="#3333ff">no
    <b /></font>(bonus point if anyone actually responded to your posts<b />)

    16 Have been sick in a public place without any major recriminations? <font color="#3333ff">no
    <b /></font>(bonus point if you were sick on some people as well<b />)

    17 Have had an altercation with a homeless person, usually regarding the legitimacy of their “homeless” status and their asking you for money? <font color="#3333ff">no</font>
    <b />(bonus point if it escalated to fisticuffs<b />)

    18 Have slept a night outdoors unplanned? <font color="#3333ff">Couthouse carpark bushes</font>.
    <b />(bonus point if it was in Central London and / or you were wearing a shirt and tie at the time<b />)

    19 Have invited a member of the opposite sex round for dinner, and prepared all the food out of packets and ready meals? <font color="#3333ff">no</font>
    <b />(bonus point if she noticed<b />)

    20 Have ever been thrown out of Oakwell? <font color="#3333ff">No - Baseball ground yes</font>.
    <b />(bonus point if you managed to get back in again before the end of the match
     
  8. Gue

    Guest Guest

    RE: Yep - great isn't it

    I know for a fact the husband of someone I worked with was(still is) banging their neighbour. When he was pissed he asked me to smarten his wife up &quot;so I can get her divorced&quot;. I of course was disgusted at his suggestion..........
     
  9. Gue

    Guest Guest

    Disgusted

    And then you knobbed her ?
    no ?
     
  10. Gue

    Guest Guest

    RE: Disgusted

    Not straight away.
     
  11. Gue

    Guest Guest

    Good lad - NT
     
  12. JLWBigLil

    JLWBigLil Well-Known Member

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    Here's me thinking you were such a "good" boy!

    :pff
     
  13. JLWBigLil

    JLWBigLil Well-Known Member

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    Is that all?

    Have you really been so bad or are you making it up to look "tough"?

    :pff :pff :pff :pff
     
  14. Gue

    Guest Guest

    RE: Is that all?

    No I've missed 2 off because even I have a shame gene.
     
  15. Gue

    Guest Guest

    was one of them loving animals ?
     
  16. Gue

    Guest Guest

    RE: was one of them loving animals ?

    Sorry, missed 3 off.
     
  17. JLWBigLil

    JLWBigLil Well-Known Member

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    I don't know,

    you need taking in hand!

    :pff :pff :pff
     
  18. Merde Tete

    Merde Tete Well-Known Member

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    "kangaroo in car"

    to my shame I misunderstood for a second and wondered

    a) what he was doing in there with you and
    b) how and why you killed him
     
  19. Terry Nutkins

    Terry Nutkins Well-Known Member

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    RE: "kangaroo in car"

    I thought that when I selected Post. </p>

    We went on a golfing weekend from Melbourne to the murray river.....best courses I have ever played. On the way 4 kangaroos decided to play chicken with a 4 litre Ford. Messy to say the least. I tried to pick the beast up but it must have weighed more than 20 stone.</p>

    Sorry to break the perception Crystal!!</p>

    I'm a good boy. Its all part of growing up as they say. The Bangkok pro was quality though. When she talked I just kept thinking.....&quot;You wove me wong time&quot;</p>

    My mate the silly get asked one of them if she had ever been to London and she was packing her bags thinking he'd just asked her to go to London. Face a picture - money back in his pocket!!</p>
     
  20. Ady

    Ady Active Member

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    I'm saying nowt..

    [​IMG]
     

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