Best Man Speech Ideas

Long & drawn out or short & funny?? Plus should i mention anything that could get him onto trouble with the Bride, In Laws or even his parents?


Cheers

 

Start with this line

Now, before I start, the Landlord/hotel managerhas asked me to request that, for the reasons of health and safety, none of you are to get up on top of the chairs and tables during my standing ovation.

 

EL If ya google it, there's all kinds of help

 

Have a look here

www.brilliantspeech.com

 

Cheers

But i dont want to go down the internet route want it to be all my own work

 

RE: Cheers

That site isn't ready made speeches but on one of the pages, there are hints & tips about writing a Best Man's speech.

 

heres that bit

BEST MAN TIPS



Be Complimentary

Bride, Bridesmaids, venue etc



Be Funny

There can be huge pressure on the best man to be funny, this is more likely to happen if you relax and imagine that you are in the pub. Remember everyone wants you to do well.



Broad Appeal

Remember you are not in the pub. Great-aunts and 5 year olds are likely to be in the audience.



Breathe

A deep breath can work wonders to help calm nerves.



Booze

Having a drink can help you relax but take it easy till the speech is well and truly over as slurred words and wobbly legs will not endear you to the audience and may cause the end of a beautiful friendship.



Be on the Ball

You are the groom’s right hand man be ready to help with directions, drinks, wardrobe malfunctions and anything else that may arise.



Be cheeky not crude, Risqué not rude!

 

RE: heres that bit

I didnt see this bity cheers.

How far does cheeky go before it becomes crude, & shame applys for Risqué & rude

 

I think

I'd apply the theory of would you say it in front of your own grandma or 12 year old daughter?

 

Well

I'd say anything in front of anybody

But i see your point time for a re-think

 

One of my mates did an Anal sex joke in his best mans speech at another mates wedding. Went down like a lead baloon apart from on our table who found it hillarous that he'd actually done it in front of all the grannies etc. All eyes focussed on his Mrs in a "did you know he was going to do that" kind of way.

 

mention that when he buys a round hell freezes over and cows jump over the moon

 

</p>

Well he'd be talking about himself there wouldn't he?
</p>

 

If you have a girlfriend / Wife, you could do this:

At a recent wedding reception the best man and his partner, after all the speeches and thanking everyone for everything the last thing he says as an after thought is..Oh and finally (partners name ) and I have got you a very special present its limited edition ....................... and as your partner is passing it to you... you drop it to the sound off smashing glass. ( which has clearly been smashed and put in the box earlier) ..look of horror on both faces... and kick the box under the table..mumble well we can forget about that then...the buzz in the hall is great, some people laugh...some are very concerned that an expensive present has been smashed......If that is your sense of humour...

 

I heard of a best man who wished the bride and groom all the best - they were a lovely couple etc etc and then bestman announced that he'd bedded both bride and groom in the past (at different times!) - aaargh - grannies had to be stretchered out.

 

lol

then why you asking on here - the internet???

 

My best man did this thing where he said it was now time for all my ex's to return the keys to my flat, so one by one various ladies came up and gave me a key, the fourth one was the head bridesmaid's mum, and the fifth was said bridesmaid. The sixth was the bloke I share an office with who thanked me 'for the best times of his life!' - everyone was in stitches.

 

Not a bad idea that .

 

Excellent!