JOKE 1 Brian Laws is leaving the car park at Hillsborough after another defeat, he doesn't know what to do next, so he turns to booze. He thinks he'd better get home sharpish and have a whisky or two to settle himself down. Keen to beat the rush hour traffic, Laws puts his foot down and speeds off along the fast lane. Moments later, the traffic police pull him over. The officer asks the dirty farmer boy for his documents. Clocking that its the famous Mr Laws, the officer decides to take pity on the pie-munching under-achiever. "Its alright Brian, consider yourself on a final warning, next time we'll have to book you" the officer explained. Laws looks less than pleased with the caution, puts his head in his hands and begins to sob softly. "Whats the matter?" the bewildered officer enquires. Brian looks up with a tear in his eye and squeals "Just what is it I have to do to get 3 points". ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- JOKE 2 After suddenly coming into some money Gordon Shepherd decides that as an attack minded side we should have the best and goes straight out and buys Ronaldo, Ronaldinho, David Villa and Messi. The next day at training Davey calls all the coaching staff together for a talk. He says "right lads now that we have these top strikers there's only one problem." What's the problem" says Ryan Kidd puzzled. To which Simon replies "Which one are we gonna play alongside Istvan Ferenczi."
