Thursday October 26th: There is a big black & white cat under the motorway bridge, on the hard shoulder, just before junction 39 of the M1. I was in queueing traffic - but it never moved. I wonder if it's asleep? Tuesday November 7th: On my way under the bridge at junction 39 this morning I noticed the cat is still there. The lazy fecker hasn't shifted an inch. Cats are so independant - I bet it's owners are worried sick. Friday November 17th: The traffic is awful today - there's been an accident at junction 42. The cat is still under the bridge - I'm now wondering if it's a Red Hot Chili Peppers fan. It seems very tired, but it's picked a decent little spot - as it isn't getting wet. I hope it makes it's way home soon - it's been there 3 weeks now ... so it must be hungry. Tuesday November 28th: The big black & white cat is still laid there. I'm now getting worried. Maybe I should poke it with a stick on the way by - just to wake it up. It seems to be going a funny brown colour. Do cats hibernate? Friday December 1st: I can't tell the difference between the black bits and the white bits anymore. I was parked in traffic for a good 5 minutes beside it this morning. I wound the window down and started barking at it - to scare it awake ... but it never shifted. I'm thinking the cat might be deaf. Monday December 4th: It seems the cat is on a diet. It's much thinner than when I first saw it laying there in October. I don't think it's getting enough fish - so I've put an open tin of tuna beside it. We'll see how much it eats later in the week. Thursday December 7th: Now I'm getting very worried. It's not touched the tuna & is covered in bugs. It smells a bit funny too. I think it may be on a hunger strike - possibly one of it's friends is being held against it's will in the Cattery at Mirfield? I'm not sure how much more I can do for this cat. More "Big Cat Diaries" next week. And you can stick your "Planet Earth" up your harris.
I'm going to take some pictures of it next week. It won't be the grottiest pussy you've ever seen. I frank you. * takes bow. (c) Obvious Crap Joke Company 1993
The hair is now starting to drop off. It must be malting or summat. Or someone might be shaving the pussy. The clearest pointer towards my mental state is the fact that I greet the aforementioned cat every morning.
Really? I love animals me. Grilled, fried or braised usually. You know why dogs crawl away to die alone? It's cos they're fed up with their owners. FACT.
