Big Gay Witch stabbed to death in Bhaji row

A 38-year-old big haired Deaconoid has died after being stabbed during an argument with a dwarf, who allegedly ate his onion bhajis.
Jay Homosensual, from Kuntish Town, got on a number 43 bus with his black cat on Setdi Neet.

The attacker got on at the same stop and when Mr Homosensual tried to stop him harassing his cat he was stabbed.

He was taken to hospital where his magic broom had no effect - and he died. Police are appealing for calm - and revenge attacks upon vertically challenged, morally corrupt elves have been discouraged.

Police said Mr Homosensual had endured the man throwing bits of bhaji and shouting 'thi shiny shirt looks a reyt lovely person' for about 15 minutes.

But when the knee-high knifeman started to target his cat he defended her.

He was then stabbed and despite his blubber injuries he attempted to stop the gnome getting away, before collapsing on the bottom deck of the bus in a big gay heap.

The attacker was pot bellied, in his 40s, just under 4ft with Chris Morgan's head.
He wore a dodgy t-shirt and platform shoes.
Police said he got off the bus 2 minutes from Town.

Det Ch Insp John Osama Bin-Redfan said: "This was a totally unprovoked attack by someone who obviously carries a knife as a matter of course.
His colleague, Sgt Noeshit Sherlock, also confirmed 'It was a knife attack. It was still stuck out of his Harris when we got there - so we think it may have been the murder weapon or summat'.