Call centre classics.

Discussion in 'Bulletin Board ARCHIVE' started by Andy Mac, Mar 18, 2008.

  1. Andy Mac

    Andy Mac Well-Known Member

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    <p class="MsoPlainText" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><font face="Consolas" size="3">For a chuckle - some old, some new.</font></p><p class="MsoPlainText" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><font face="Consolas" size="3" /></p><p class="MsoPlainText" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><font face="Consolas" size="3" /></p><p class="MsoPlainText" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><font face="Consolas" size="3" /></p><p class="MsoPlainText" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><font face="Consolas" size="3">Actual call centre conversations !!!!! </font></p>

    <font face="Consolas" size="3"></font></p> <p class="MsoPlainText" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><font face="Consolas" size="3">Customer: 'I've been ringing 0800 2100 for two days and can't get</font></p><p class="MsoPlainText" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><font face="Consolas" size="3">through to enquiries, can you help?'.</font></p><p class="MsoPlainText" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><font face="Consolas" size="3">Operator: 'Where did you get that number from, sir?'. </font></p><p class="MsoPlainText" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><font face="Consolas" size="3">Customer: 'It was on the door to the Travel Centre'.</font></p><p class="MsoPlainText" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><font face="Consolas" size="3">Operator: 'Sir, they are our opening hours'. </font></p><p class="MsoPlainText" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><font face="Consolas" size="3">------------------------------------------------------------------------</font></p><p class="MsoPlainText" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><font face="Consolas" size="3">-----------------------------------------</font></p><p class="MsoPlainText" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><font face="Consolas" size="3">Samsung Electronics </font></p><p class="MsoPlainText" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><font face="Consolas" size="3">Caller: 'Can you give me the telephone number for Jack?' </font></p><p class="MsoPlainText" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><font face="Consolas" size="3">Operator: 'I'm sorry, sir, I don't understand who you are talking</font></p><p class="MsoPlainText" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><font face="Consolas" size="3">about'. </font></p><p class="MsoPlainText" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><font face="Consolas" size="3">Caller: 'On page 1, section 5, of the user guide it clearly</font></p><p class="MsoPlainText" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><font face="Consolas" size="3">states that I need to unplug the fax machine from the AC wall socket and telephone Jack before cleaning. Now, can you give me the number for Jack?' </font></p><p class="MsoPlainText" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><font face="Consolas" size="3">Operator: 'I think you mean the telephone point on the wall'. </font></p><p class="MsoPlainText" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><font face="Consolas" size="3">----------------------------------------------------------------------</font></p><p class="MsoPlainText" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><font face="Consolas" size="3">RAC Motoring Services </font></p><p class="MsoPlainText" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><font face="Consolas" size="3">Caller: 'Does your European Breakdown Policy cover me when I am</font></p><p class="MsoPlainText" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><font face="Consolas" size="3">travelling in Australia ?' </font></p><p class="MsoPlainText" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><font face="Consolas" size="3">Operator: ' Doesn't the product name give you a clue?' </font></p><p class="MsoPlainText" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><font face="Consolas" size="3">----------------------------------------------------------------------</font></p><p class="MsoPlainText" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><font face="Consolas" size="3">Caller (enquiring about legal requirements while travelling in France ):</font></p>

    <font face="Consolas" size="3"></font></p> <p class="MsoPlainText" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><font face="Consolas" size="3">'If I register my car in France , do I have to change the steering wheel to the other side of the car?' </font></p><p class="MsoPlainText" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><font face="Consolas" size="3">----------------------------------------------------------------------</font></p><p class="MsoPlainText" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><font face="Consolas" size="3">Directory Enquiries </font></p><p class="MsoPlainText" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><font face="Consolas" size="3">Caller: 'I'd like the number of the Argoed Fish Bar in</font></p><p class="MsoPlainText" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><font face="Consolas" size="3">Cardiff please'. </font></p><p class="MsoPlainText" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><font face="Consolas" size="3">Operator: 'I'm sorry, there's no listing. Is the spelling</font></p><p class="MsoPlainText" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><font face="Consolas" size="3">correct?' </font></p><p class="MsoPlainText" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><font face="Consolas" size="3">Caller: 'Well, it used to be called the Bargoed Fish Bar</font></p><p class="MsoPlainText" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><font face="Consolas" size="3">but the 'B' fell off'. </font></p><p class="MsoPlainText" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><font face="Consolas" size="3">----------------------------------------------------------------------</font></p><p class="MsoPlainText" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><font face="Consolas" size="3">Then there was the caller who asked for a knitwear company in Woven. </font></p><p class="MsoPlainText" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><font face="Consolas" size="3">Operator: 'Woven? Are you sure?' </font></p><p class="MsoPlainText" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><font face="Consolas" size="3">Caller: 'Yes. That's what it says on the label; Woven in</font></p><p class="MsoPlainText" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><font face="Consolas" size="3">Scotland '. </font></p><p class="MsoPlainText" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><font face="Consolas" size="3">----------------------------------------------------------------------</font></p><p class="MsoPlainText" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><font face="Consolas" size="3">On another occasion, a man making heavy breathing sounds from a phone box told a worried operator: </font></p><p class="MsoPlainText" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><font face="Consolas" size="3">'I haven't got a pen, so I'm steaming up the window to write the number on'. </font></p><p class="MsoPlainText" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><font face="Consolas" size="3">---------------------------------------------------------------------- </font></p><p class="MsoPlainText" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><font face="Consolas" size="3">Tech Support: 'I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop'.</font></p><p class="MsoPlainText" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><font face="Consolas" size="3">Customer: 'OK'.</font></p><p class="MsoPlainText" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><font face="Consolas" size="3">Tech Support: 'Did you get a pop-up menu?'. </font></p><p class="MsoPlainText" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><font face="Consolas" size="3">Customer: 'No'.</font></p><p class="MsoPlainText" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><font face="Consolas" size="3">Tech Support: 'OK. Right-Click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?'</font></p><p class="MsoPlainText" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><font face="Consolas" size="3">Customer: 'No'.</font></p><p class="MsoPlainText" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><font face="Consolas" size="3">Tech Support: 'OK, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up until</font></p><p class="MsoPlainText" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><font face="Consolas" size="3">this point?'. </font></p><p class="MsoPlainText" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><font face="Consolas" size="3">Customer: 'Sure. You told me to write 'click' and I wrote</font></p><p class="MsoPlainText" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><font face="Consolas" size="3">'click''. </font></p><p class="MsoPlainText" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><font face="Consolas" size="3">---------------------------------------------------------------------- </font></p><p class="MsoPlainText" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><font face="Consolas" size="3">Tech Support: 'OK. In the bottom left hand side of the screen,</font></p><p class="MsoPlainText" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><font face="Consolas" size="3">can you see the 'OK' button displayed?'</font></p><p class="MsoPlainText" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><font face="Consolas" size="3">Customer: 'Wow. How can you see my screen from there?' </font></p><p class="MsoPlainText" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><font face="Consolas" size="3">----------------------------------------------------------------------</font></p><p class="MsoPlainText" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><font face="Consolas" size="3">Caller: 'I deleted a file from my PC last week and I have just realised that I need it. If I turn my system clock back two weeks will I have my file back again?'. </font></p><p class="MsoPlainText" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><font face="Consolas" size="3">----------------------------------------------------------------------</font></p><p class="MsoPlainText" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><font face="Consolas" size="3">-------------------------------------------</font></p><p class="MsoPlainText" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><font face="Consolas" size="3">There's always one. This has got to be one of the funniest things in a long time. I think this guy should have been promoted, not fired. This is a true story from the Word Perfect Helpline, which was transcribed from a recording monitoring the customer care department. Needless to say the Help Desk employee was fired; however, he/she is currently suing the Word Perfect organization for 'Termination without Cause'. </font></p><p class="MsoPlainText" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><font face="Consolas" size="3">Actual dialogue of a former WordPerfect Customer Support employee. (Now I know why they record these conversations!): </font></p>

    <font face="Consolas" size="3"></font></p> <p class="MsoPlainText" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><font face="Consolas" size="3">Operator: 'Ridge Hall, computer assistance; may I help you?' </font></p><p class="MsoPlainText" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><font face="Consolas" size="3">Caller: 'Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect.' </font></p><p class="MsoPlainText" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><font face="Consolas" size="3">Operator: 'What sort of trouble??' </font></p><p class="MsoPlainText" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><font face="Consolas" size="3">Caller: 'Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden</font></p><p class="MsoPlainText" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><font face="Consolas" size="3">the words went away.' </font></p><p class="MsoPlainText" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><font face="Consolas" size="3">Operator: 'Went away?' </font></p><p class="MsoPlainText" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><font face="Consolas" size="3">Caller: 'They disappeared.' </font></p><p class="MsoPlainText" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><font face="Consolas" size="3">Operator: 'Hmm So what does your screen look like now?' </font></p><p class="MsoPlainText" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><font face="Consolas" size="3">Caller: 'Nothing.' </font></p><p class="MsoPlainText" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><font face="Consolas" size="3">Operator: 'Nothing??' </font></p><p class="MsoPlainText" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><font face="Consolas" size="3">Caller: 'It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type.'</font></p>

    <font face="Consolas" size="3"></font></p> <p class="MsoPlainText" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><font face="Consolas" size="3">Operator: 'Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out??' </font></p><p class="MsoPlainText" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><font face="Consolas" size="3">Caller: 'How do I tell?' </font></p><p class="MsoPlainText" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><font face="Consolas" size="3">Operator: 'Can you see the C: prompt on the screen??' </font></p><p class="MsoPlainText" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><font face="Consolas" size="3">Caller: 'What's a sea-prompt?' </font></p><p class="MsoPlainText" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><font face="Consolas" size="3">Operator: 'Never mind, can you move your cursor around the</font></p><p class="MsoPlainText" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><font face="Consolas" size="3">screen?' </font></p><p class="MsoPlainText" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><font face="Consolas" size="3">Caller: 'There isn't any cursor: I told you, it won't</font></p><p class="MsoPlainText" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><font face="Consolas" size="3">accept anything I type.' </font></p><p class="MsoPlainText" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><font face="Consolas" size="3">Operator: 'Does your monitor have a power indicator??' </font></p><p class="MsoPlainText" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><font face="Consolas" size="3">Caller: 'What's a monitor?' </font></p><p class="MsoPlainText" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><font face="Consolas" size="3">Operator: 'It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like</font></p><p class="MsoPlainText" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><font face="Consolas" size="3">a TV. Does it have a little light that tells you when it's on??' </font></p><p class="MsoPlainText" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><font face="Consolas" size="3">Caller: 'I don't know.' </font></p><p class="MsoPlainText" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><font face="Consolas" size="3">Operator: 'Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find</font></p><p class="MsoPlainText" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><font face="Consolas" size="3">where the power cord goes into it. Can you see that??' </font></p><p class="MsoPlainText" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><font face="Consolas" size="3">Caller: 'Yes, I think so.' </font></p><p class="MsoPlainText" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><font face="Consolas" size="3">Operator: 'Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if</font></p><p class="MsoPlainText" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><font face="Consolas" size="3">it's plugged into the wall. </font></p><p class="MsoPlainText" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><font face="Consolas" size="3">Caller: 'Yes, it is.'</font></p><p class="MsoPlainText" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><font face="Consolas" size="3">Operator: 'When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that</font></p><p class="MsoPlainText" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><font face="Consolas" size="3">there were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one??' </font></p><p class="MsoPlainText" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><font face="Consolas" size="3">Caller: 'No.'</font></p><p class="MsoPlainText" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><font face="Consolas" size="3">Operator: 'Well, there are. I need you to look back there again</font></p><p class="MsoPlainText" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><font face="Consolas" size="3">and find the other cable.' </font></p><p class="MsoPlainText" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><font face="Consolas" size="3">Caller: 'Okay, here it is.'</font></p><p class="MsoPlainText" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><font face="Consolas" size="3">Operator: 'Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged</font></p><p class="MsoPlainText" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><font face="Consolas" size="3">securely into the back of your computer.' </font></p><p class="MsoPlainText" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><font face="Consolas" size="3">Caller: 'I can't reach.'</font></p><p class="MsoPlainText" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><font face="Consolas" size="3">Operator: 'Uh huh. Well, can you see if it is??'</font></p><p class="MsoPlainText" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><font face="Consolas" size="3">Caller: 'No.'</font></p><p class="MsoPlainText" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><font face="Consolas" size="3">Operator: 'Even if you maybe put your knee on something and</font></p><p class="MsoPlainText" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><font face="Consolas" size="3">lean way over??' </font></p><p class="MsoPlainText" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><font face="Consolas" size="3">Caller: 'Oh, it's not because I don't have the right angle</font></p><p class="MsoPlainText" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><font face="Consolas" size="3">- it's because it's dark.'</font></p><p class="MsoPlainText" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><font face="Consolas" size="3">Operator: 'Dark??'</font></p><p class="MsoPlainText" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><font face="Consolas" size="3">Caller: 'Yes - the office light is off, and the only light</font></p><p class="MsoPlainText" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><font face="Consolas" size="3">I have is coming in from the window. </font></p><p class="MsoPlainText" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><font face="Consolas" size="3">' Operator: 'Well, turn on the office light then.'</font></p><p class="MsoPlainText" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><font face="Consolas" size="3">Caller: 'I can't.'</font></p><p class="MsoPlainText" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><font face="Consolas" size="3">Operator: 'No? Why not??'</font></p><p class="MsoPlainText" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><font face="Consolas" size="3">Caller: 'Because there's a power failure.' </font></p><p class="MsoPlainText" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><font face="Consolas" size="3">Operator: 'A power......... A power failure? Aha, Okay, we've got it licked now.</font></p><p class="MsoPlainText" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><font face="Consolas" size="3">Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff your computer came in??' </font></p><p class="MsoPlainText" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><font face="Consolas" size="3">Caller: 'Well, yes, I keep them in the closet.' </font></p><p class="MsoPlainText" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><font face="Consolas" size="3">Operator: 'Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack</font></p><p class="MsoPlainText" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><font face="Consolas" size="3">it up just like it was when you got it. Then take it back to the store you bought it from.'</font></p><p class="MsoPlainText" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><font face="Consolas" size="3">Caller: 'Really? Is it that bad?' </font></p><p class="MsoPlainText" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><font face="Consolas" size="3">Operator: 'Yes, I'm afraid it is.'</font></p><p class="MsoPlainText" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><font face="Consolas" size="3">Caller: 'Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell</font></p><p class="MsoPlainText" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><font face="Consolas" size="3">them??'</font></p><p class="MsoPlainText" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><font face="Consolas" size="3">Operator: 'Tell them you're too f --- ing stupid to own a</font></p><p class="MsoPlainText" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><font face="Consolas" size="3">computer!!!!!'</font></p>
     
  2. BFC

    BFC 4 EVA!!! New Member

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    there quite funny actually, but worrying we have people as stupid as that!
     

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