On loan for the season from lincoln's u7 nursery team. Part of the deal requires him to play in at least 75% of our games.
Calvin The Shepherd sounds a more calming influence - specialist midfielder to be played only on sloping pitches with a greater than average length of grass in the central areas. Always looking for a pen.
He actually exists and yes, he IS a midfielder. https://www.transfermarkt.com/calvin-shepherd/profil/spieler/360531 Not a f'kin scooby, but let's make this happen.
If we are signing players based on name only, can we please get the gloriously named "Kiki Ballack" (https://www.transfermarkt.com/kiki-ballack/profil/spieler/339475). A defensive midfielder with an "interesting" way of tackling centre-forwards.