Tommy Wright? What a waste of money! He's obviously too small/slow/tall/skillfull but lazy/hardworking but crap/injury prone/prone to bookings/always offside/never far enough up the pitch to be offside/not a natural goalscorer/won't have a shot/doesn't like the ball at his feet/no good in the air/too soft/too nasty. I haven't decided which yet, but he will be.
What about........ "...runs around a lot but can't cross. Top scorer? Man of the match? Pah!......" heh heh.
RE: What about........ That's after a few games though. Not just one. And I'm still right. It's everyone else.