Chat up lines...

what are the funniest chat up lines you have heard/used?

I'm trying to collect a load of them.
This should be fun

 

Are the one you use not working?!

 

Obviously not

I've resorted to asking people on here...

 

I wouldn't hold out too much hope mate

 

Haha

It's a good job I'm looking for the funny type, i.e the one's that are likely to fail.

 

Wouldn't say this was a chat up line BUT its piss funny and evil

It's called rodeo. what it is, you walk up to a fat bird, hug them and say "Your the fattest bird i know" and see how long you can hug them for. I know its pure evil. but its Hilarious

 

That's class!

and something one of my mates could be persuaded to try when they've had a few drinks, I'm definately gonna get one of them to try it. I'm not evil/strong enough to give it a go haha.

 

Obviously the old classic...'tha dunt seat much for a fat lass..'

 

Get thi coit luv thas pulled...

Nice legs, what time they open....

 

Do you like jewellery?...

Well suck my c*ck its a gem!

 

how much does a Polar Bear weigh?

haha very tame and pathetic line that was.

 

No just NO!!!!

I know your mates remember - if RR#2 comes home after a belt off a lass I know who to blame!

 

'Do you want to come back to my place for a Pizza and a shag?' When they so no reply with' why, don't you like pizza?'

'You remind me of a spanner because everytime you come near me my nuts get tighter' (be carefull with this one though as they might think you're calling them a spanner!!)

'Come and sit on my lap and we'll talk about the first thing that pops up'

'It must have hurt when you fell from heaven'

'You're legs must be tired because you've been running round my mind all night'

There's loads more............

 

I'm a coin collector and I couldn't help noticing you have a lovely pair of threepenny bits.

 

**** me if i'm wrong but you want to kiss me. lol

 

I Went Into The Co-op At Darfield On My Lunch Break Today

I was queuing behind this ****** who must have bought every BOGOF item in the store, while he was counting his money the lass at the till smiled at me not been ignorant i smiled back. When she served me with my Banana & Yoghurt she commented on how i must have a healthy lifestyle to which i replied 'you've got to eat healthy when you work at the sharp end'. She said that she was going to join a Gym to get fit to which i said 'There's plenty of otherways to do to get fit instead of joining a Gym' She said 'Yes...but they are rubbish' so i told her she must not be doing it right.

I didnt get a invite to help her get fit or her phone number so maybe its not such a good chat up line after all

 

I Bet I Can Guess Your Phone Number

When she says 'I bet you can't' you say 'Ok your right you'll have to write it down'

 

Am i cute enough yet, or do you need more drink?

 

RE: I Went Into The Co-op At Darfield On My Lunch Break Today

Sounds like she didn't get it

was she blonde by any chance?

I'd go back if I were you though, try one of the other chat up lines that's been given haha