Mine is 'two players going for the same ball...' Theyre hardly going to be going for different balls are they.
A common one on a Sunday morning at kids football Parents/ coach when two players on same team go for the same ball, they shout "One of you!"
or when someone punts the ball and one of the players shouts at him... "Who's it to?" (or 'oos it ter?')
I think that's OK as an expression. "Ball" also means "pass" of course ("Good ball" etc), so I think the expression gives a quick and accurate summary of what's happening. It could be a lot worse:"Two players are attempting to collect the same pass. One of them is superfluous to requirements. They really should discuss that, reach a meaningful decision, and act accordingly before they needlessly concede possession."
I shout "one on yer" quite a lot! It's not so much an instruction than an expression of frustration...
I could make a list but my absolute worst is when the manager/ star player is interviewed before a game and they come out with something along the lines of " we are confident we will get a result this afternoon" of course they will - even losing 7-0 is getting a result - the only way thats not true is if the game is postponed or abandoned
