Could do with one of them Santa Trackers for Terry Butcher

On his epic journey to Oakwell.

Latest is he's traversing the Cairngorms.

 

He's just been spotted just north of Berwick.

 

Stopped at the services in Berwick for a change of bandage, some tomato sauce and a copy of Good Housekeeping magazine.

 

His car got a puncture outside Newcastle. He's fixed it using his own matted and bloodied hair.

 

I've heard he's on his way with Frodo Baggins

 

Just keep him away from Huddersfield. It's like the Bermuda triangle.

The number of Barnsley targets in the past who have been travelling down and made a quick stop at Huddersfield before to sign for them is laughable.

 

This is true. They've just fought off 3 orcs who attacked them at a set of traffic lights whilst passing through Newcastle. Butch has their heads on spikes as a warning to others.

 

After a brief stop at a farmhouse for breakfast where Butch bit off the heads of three chickens, they had to do a u turn upon realising the inflatable Nessy which was strapped to the roof had blown off in Hartlepool town centre. The locals had become scared and started worshipping the plastic beast. Butch and Maurice NoneShallPass engaged in a mock Highland battle where upon Butch let the air out of Nessy. They have been given the freedom of the town and are banqueting with the mayor a local dwarf.

 

heard he was last in a service station having a debate about how things are so expensive and the petrol station should lower the prices and fed up of the miles he's clocking up, on the journey to the centre of the earth or Oakwell,

(bet he's not had a look then at the price of a burger king then)