Could someone tell me if Martin Cranie is training with the squad today?

And could you then set your own face on fire?

FFS.

 

What, and look like you? hahahahahahahahaha! durrrrrr. blarrrghh.

 

My feet currently look as bad as your face.
I'm not designed to walk/climb 25.6 miles up silly bloody hills at my age.

The big toe on my left foot looks as devastated as Hemsy's anus when he returned from his statistics course in Nigeria.

 

The return of the BBS rapscallion

And the bestist poster ever.
Hope all is well with you and yours, you exceptionally wealthy harlequin.

 

Re: The return of the BBS rapscallion

Bestist poster ever was either No.1 Keeper or Johnny Coachman. Or Roundsman. Or John Dillinger.
I'll take "rapscallion" though. I like that very much.

The family are all fine, thanks. My daughter is lovely & my Son wants to break the world.
How are your clan? All still a bit mental?

Wish I was more wealthy ... although I'm off on a free cruise next month - get me.

 

All still mental, sir

The buxom wench is now at work, wearing her nurse's uniform. My Peter Crouch-like son will be winging his way to Turkey this Thursday on holiday. We finally get shut of that leach in September, when she departs for university. I continue to lie on the settee all day, watching Bargain Hunt, Antiques Road Trip & Flog it.

 

Re: All still mental, sir

when you say you watch bargain hunt, antiques road trip & flog it, do you mean the program flog it or after watching those 2 do you flog it ?????

 

I watch the programme

Anything else just sounds like physical effort and I'm allergic to that.

 

Re: All still mental, sir

Your life sounds pretty special.
Are you Luke Steele's Agent by any chance?

Glad to hear the family are well.
It's pretty obvious "your" Son is mine.
The CSA keep coming around, but I keep pointing out that he's not mine as he's got a few brain cells.
I blame the Nurse uniform too.

I went to The University of Life.
It's near Norwich.

Have we signed a centre half yet?

 

Re: All still mental, sir

I'll have to remove myself from the settee in a month, or so, to go on my next dig. Then it's weeks of toil without a day off.
He's obviously your son, with his charm for the ladies and likeable personality. He doesn't possess any of my humility, idleness, gentleness and femininity.
Yes, we have signed a centre half. His name is Jim McNulty and he's a cross between Mick McCarthy & Gerry Taggart, but nastier.

 

Re: All still mental, sir

Wow. I like the sound of this McNutsy geezer.

I taught your lad the "Do you like Christmas, love? Well suck my c0ck - it's a cracker" line.
I hope it's serving him well.

What on earth are you digging up?
You don't work for Fred West do you?

Too far?

 

Re: All still mental, sir

We discovered the remains of two babies dating from the Iron Age, last Summer.
The sites, so far, have been Iron Age and Romano-British. However, we've also dug up some Neolithic hand axes in the last couple of years. Although Jay & madmark62 insist they were just sharp stones!

 

Re: All still mental, sir

I bet me loving "Mick the Dig" to death has upset you a little then?
I can't resist any man who looks like Santa. Or woman. Or goat.

Have you ever watched the US version of Time Team?
Forgotten what it's called, but it's **** funny.
They almost jizz their pants when they dig something up from 1952.

Anyway, I'm off to see Crystal. She needs some help with her uniform.

 

Re: All still mental, sir

I always wondered why Mick gave up the fieldwork and took up dendrochronology. That's when he went from 'Mick The Dig' to 'Mick The Twig'.
I've watched it once or twice. In all fairness to them, there's very little archaeology left by the nomadic Native Americans in such a vast country. You're spot on with their enthusiasm for things post war.
If it's not too much to ask, can you wait until Crystal's made me something to eat first?

 

Re: All still mental, sir

No problem.
It may be a microwave meal as she'll be tired ... not from the sex, of course, I've got her doing my ironing.
Are you not suspicious that her uniform has poppers, not buttons?

"Oh, look, I've dug up a limited edition 1953 Coke bottle".
Well done. Now point out Greece on this map, you buffoons.

Maybe you should write a Time Team style piece for Dyson's new "West Stand Bogs" Fanzine?
It would be much better with something interesting in there - not just the ravings of a bunch of nutcases.

 

Re: All still mental, sir

A football fanzine with it's own archaeology section? Do I have to write it with a prose akin to throwing a hissy fit?
"Why couldn't Harry Tuffnell make sure he flushed his turds away properly? Especially with his red meat diet!"