Could we possibly have a quick round of limericks please.

There was a young woman from Madras
Who had an incredible ass
Not plump round and pink
Like you’d probably think
But one with big ears that eats grass

 

Mary had a little lamb
She kept it in a bucket
She took it down the garden path
And the dog tried to eat it

 

Reds on tour
With Darren Moore
Just hope he int a flop
Like Markus bloody Schopp

 

There once was a man from Japan
Whose limericks never would scan.
He said "I get on just fine
"Until the last line
"And then I always try to fit in as many words as I possibly can."

 

A woman who lived down in Darton
Had eyes only for Joey Barton
She'd pluck pubic hair
From her underwear
And send it to him in a carton

by Richard Kell

 

By golly I'm starting to smell
Cried the old man who lived in Birdwell
I never get clean
I read my magazine
And the poetry of Richard Kell

by Richard Kell

 

In owd Barnsley
A tale I'll spin
Of a club that can't help but lose its kin.
They sell their stars so bright,
And managers take flight,
Leaving fans in perpetual spin.

 

Another year in league one
Sadly we thought it wouldn't come
How wrong were we
No future could we see
But supporting the Reds is fun

 

There once was a bloke called M Duff
Who really could not give a stuff
He tricked us with lies
Then said his goodbyes
Cos he thinks he's much better than Clough

 

Theres this teams whos mascots a tyke
With its "moves" why do I still like?
Take this week for example
Another prime sample
Manager/coach has got on his bike.

 

We once had a manager Duff
His work it seemed up to snuff
However at t'end of the season
Some would say without reason
He decided he'd just had enough

 

Mary had a little skirt
the split was up the side
every time she wore the skirt
the boys could see her thighs
she also had another skirt
the split was up the front
she didn't wear that one much though.

 

Our current CEO, name of Khaled,
Was famous for his chicken flat bread
He gave cryptic clues
About some big news
What a great time for being a Red!

 

Mary had a little lamb
She tied it to a pylon
2000 volts went up its arse and turned its wool to nylon

 

A Barnsley lad said banging a fat ass is one thing i do best,
A Sheep is fine,
A Pig is Divine,
But a Fat lass from Kendray is the Best

 

Sadly it's same old story
Another tale like jackanory
We sell on the cheap
Staff we want we can't keep
The fans ain't in it for glory

 

RedStriker put out a request,
For limericks on BBS,
Some turned out fine,
But some didn't rhyme,
And some were a right fùcking mess.

 

Fork off Judas Michael Duffy
His lies have got him what he needs
His promises all shi*e
He's just a fly by night
Barnsley will still win the Football league.

 

A fat lass from Barnsley did tricks,
She handled 5 dicks with her tricks,
And one day she cried out, and took out her glass eye,
And now she does six Dicks

 

I think a few folk need to look up what constitutes a limerick…