Curry Rhapsody to the Tune of Bohemian Rhapsody For Those Who Haven't Seen It Before

Naan, just killed a man
Poppadom against his head
Had lime pickle, now he's dead.
Naan, dinner's just begun
But now I'm gonna throw it all away
Naan, ooh, ooh didn't mean to make you cry
If I'm not back from the loo this time tomorrow
Curry on, curry o-on, cause nothing really Madras.
Too late, my dinner's gone
Sends shivers down my spine, bottom aching all the time
Goodbye onion bhaji, I've got to go
Gotta leave you all behind and use the loo
Naan, ooh, ooh, this dupiaza is so mild
I sometimes wish we'd never come here at all...
(Sitar solo...)
I see a little chicken tikka on the side
Rogan Joshn, Rogan Josh, pass the chutney made of mango
Vindaloo does nicely, very, very spicy
Meat! Byriani (Byriani), Byriani (Byriani)
Byriani and a naan
A vindaloo, loo, loo, loo
I've eaten Balti, somebody help me
He's eaten Balti, get him to the lavatory
Stand you well back, 'case the loo is quarantined...
Here it comes, there it goes
Technicolour yawn, I chunder - NO!
It's coming up again (There he goes)
Coming back again (up again)
Here it comes again (No no no no no no NO)
On my knees, I'm on my knees
On his knees, oh, there he goes
This vindaloo is about to wreck my guts
Poor meeee… Poor meeee… poor MEEEE-EEE
(Sitar solo...)
So you think you can chunder and then feel alright?
So you try and eat curry and drink beer all night?
Oh maybe, but now you'll puke like a baby
Just had to come out, it just had to come right out in there...
(Sitar solo...)
[slow bit]
Korma, or dupiaza
Bhaji, naan or saag
Nothing makes a difference
Nothing makes a difference - to mee-ee-ee
(Any way the wind blows… shshshshhhhhh)