Dear Barnsley FC

Fish and chips twice please, with scraps, a small carton of peas and a Diet Coke.

Thanks.

 

A carton of peas

Do peas come in a carton ?

 

How else do you want them?

In your ******* hand? You soft southern jessy.

 

RE: A carton of peas

You've been down South too long.

 

"Ez tha gor owt moist ?"

Baffles all southern chip shop owners.

 

RE: How else do you want them?

He might want them in his holding hand rather than his f.cking hand.

 

He doesn't deserve peas

 

He calls them something else

'petit pois' or summat I bet.

 

RE: He calls them something else

Fish and chips and a side order of mange tout if you please good sir. And could I have the greens in a faberge egg.

 

Well then, I stand corrected

You bunch of northern savages

They don't sell Mushy Peas in Waitrose, certainly not in a carton.

I'm coming up to Barnsley next week, I'll have to try some

 

RE: He calls them something else

He'll have his can of coke in an Swarovski Crystal glass no doubt.

 

RE: Well then, I stand corrected

You'll think they are guacamole. You make me sick.