FAO - Reuben Noble-Lazarus

Hi Reuben,</p>

Firstly I would like to introduce myself as Terry Nutkins; not the Mister you might have seen on the really wild show when you were about 4 years old. I live in a place called Barnsley which is also the name of the team that you play for on different days in the week in between going to school, chatting to your mates on MSN and wanking more probably.</p>

Anyways I am an avid supporter of Barnsley FC but the misters team you played for a few months ago, you know the one where you played for 6 minutes in both games and touched the ball once.</p>

The reason why I wanted to send you this letter was because I think you might have misunderstood our love for you. I thortu were ace m8 in dat game u played. Keep up the gud work an dat. Shizzle.</p>

Please accept our deepest apologies as we don't want you to leave us especially when the only way for us to get to know how you are going is through Red rains match reports which are illegal in some states of America.</p>

Next year we can cheer you on in training as there aren't any reserve games. But hey, I'm going to pack in work to make sure that this can happen.</p>

All the very best</p>

Tezza.</p>

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Hi Reuben,

I hope you don't mind me jumping in.

How many keepy-ups can you do? I can do 7.

If it's not windy.

 

I don't think you told him you liked him enough

And what has Don got to do with it?

 

I am now stalking RNL

To prove how interested in him I am.

 

I'm not a proper fan like Dirk and yourself.

 

Does anyone know where I can get a tracking device and a concealed camera ?

 

I've got a waterproof mac you can have in a private investigator/flasher style?

 

Excellent. </p>

I just need Adam Hinchcliffe to make a Reuben hatmask and I'm all set.
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