No idea what it is. Just thought I'd share: F A C S I M I L E FAO: Gordon Shepherd From: JohnnyCoachman MBA,BA (hons), FA accredited, 100mtr swimming Date : 11 Nov 06 Subject: New Coaching Methods Please, please, please look at my techniques and then give me a call, before it’s too late. Johnny Coachmans’ Coaching Class: 06.15 - Team arrive and salute the raising of the BFC flag 06.30 - Breakfast (grapefruit, muesli with water, cup of tea, slice of toast) 06.45 - 10 mile sprint 07.45 – teams of 3 passing in triangles (stray passes = 180 press-ups) 09.00 – video analysis of weekend match (use lots of stats eg. longest pass, highest jump and that) 10.30 – 5 mile jog with 50kg back packs 10.45 – tea break 10.50 – Bootlace analysis (demonstration of how to tie boots best in relation to scoring goals – comparisons with ‘The Lineker, The Rooney, The Van Nistelroy and The Sheron’) 11.50 – 15 aside not including the manager (who should know better and be watching) 12.30 – Pulling up socks analysis (another unique coaching method aimed at defenders – comparisons to ‘The Adams, The Pearce, The Terry and The Bramble) 14.00 – Merchandising (new technique personally developed) the 1st team arrive at the club shop to ‘face up’ the nic-nacs, whilst talking about their favourite football moments) - 1hr later the reserves arrive and do the same. Gordon Shepherd picks a winner from photographs. 15.00 – Pot Noodles for everyone. Merchandising winner announced 15.30 – Home time
Just spat coffee everywhere. Funniest thing I've seen for ages. My favourite: "06.45 - 10 mile sprint". Quality.
We're doomed.... Oh right it was a half arsed job application.</p> Jesus you had me going then.</p> Can you tell me if the fitness coach is still having it off with the toby tyke suit in the drying cupboard?</p>
No, I'm not an MBA. I did a BSc and a BA. You also got the 100 mtrs wrong it wor 100 yards in 1960 and tha missed mi Cycling Proficiency Certificate off. Nice coaching plan though. But tha missed that bit off a bart hanging um up from goal post by thumbs (or testicles if a wor in a bit ur a grumpy mood like ) if they missed a sitter. Soon be able to spot guilt one by abnormal lenght O' thumb or B*ll*cks. And as for thee thas ruined everything, let in cat art o'bag. (titanic)
You know ... ... your "location", where you've put "behind the full ponty"? Are you trying to bum me, in the bum - like a gay ******? Nice to see you getting with the spirit of things. This BA you did - I think it involved drinking milk & being duped into getting onto a plane?
RE: You know ... I'll change it to The Half Full Ponty then cos that's the way the attendances will go unless we can start winning soon. Oh, Butter or KY? (titanic)
RE: You know ... In answer to my BA. No, it was the BSc that involved drinking plenty of lager and being put on a plane to Spain. Drank plenty O' whisky in Scotland but you needed to climb up the bloody mountains to measure the Glen Coul Thrust when it was pissing it down. (titanic)
RE: Don't you mean the Glencoul thrust? I, now you know why I didn't do a Phd. Assynt bloody, Assynt.
