The seven dwarfs are down in the mines when there is a cave-in. Snow White runs to the entrance and yells down to them. In the distance a voice shouts out "Sheff Wed" are good enough to win the European Cup." Snow White says "Well at least Dopey's alive!" I've heard that Hillsborough has arguably the best pitch in the Championship. Well...not entirely suprising considering all the s**t that has been on there. Q: How many Sheff Wed fans does it take to change a light bulb? A: Yeah, as if they have electricity in Sheffield... Marcus Tudgay's wife wanted him locked up - she had had enough of the idiot. So she went to the police and told them: "Please Help, my husband has been hitting me." The Police gave sound advice: "Ma'am, don't worry. Just carry a goalpost in each hand - I guarantee he'll never hit you." Brian Laws walks into a sperm donor bank, "I'd like to donate some sperm" he says to the receptionist. "Certainly Sir" replies the receptionist, "have you donated before?". "Yes" replies Brian "you should have my details on your computer". "Oh yes, I've found your details" says the receptionist "but I see you're going to need help. Shall I call Mrs Laws for you?" "Why do I need help?" The receptionist replies "Well Brian, it says on your record that you're a useless w***er.... Three old football fans are in a church, praying for their teams.The first one asks, "Oh Lord when will England next win the World Cup?" God Replies, "In the next five years." "But I'll be dead by then," says the man. The second one asks, "Oh Lord, when will Forest next win the European Cup?" The Good Lord - answers, "In the next ten years." "But I'll be dead by then," says the man. The third one asks, "Oh Lord when will Sheffield Wednesday win the Premier League?". God answers, "I'll be dead by then!"
