Driving home from work today a friend of your market reporter was stuck in a traffic jam. A policeman approached his car, so he asked him what was wrong. "We are in a crisis situation," shouted the policeman, "Gordon Brown is in the road and he is very, very upset." The chancellor was crying because he did not have the 37 billion pounds he needs to fill the massive black hole in his accounts - and he said everyone hates him because of it. "He is threatening to douse himself in petrol and start a fire," . The cop actually felt sorry for our errant chancellor and was moving up and down the jammed cars asking for donations to try and sort the situation out. My friend asked how much he had collected........................................................................................... ............................................................. "Well right now I've only got 99 litres, but people are still siphoning as we speak..."