found this rather amusing me

>1. Only in America......can a pizza get to your house faster than an
>ambulance.
>
>2. Only in America......are there handicap parking places in front of a

>skating rink.
>
>3. Only in America......do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to

>the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people
>can buy cigarettes at the front.
>
>4. Only in America......do people order double cheeseburgers, large
>fries, and a diet coke.
>
>5. Only in America......do banks leave both doors open and then chain
>the pens to the counters.
>
>6. Only in America......do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in
>the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.
>
>7. Only in America......do we use answering machines to screen calls
>and then have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we
>didn't want to talk to in the first place.
>
>8. Only in America......do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns
>in packages of eight.
>
>9. Only in America......do we use the word 'politics' to describe the
>process so well: 'Poli' in Latin meaning 'many' and 'tics' meaning
>'bloodsucking creatures'.
>
>10. Only in America......do they have drive-up ATM machines with
>Braille lettering.





EVER WONDER????
>
>Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin?
>
>Why women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed?
>
>Why don't you ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"?
>
>Why is "abbreviated" such a long word?
>
>Why is it that doctors call what they do "practice"?
>
>Why is it that to stop Windows, you have to click on "Start"?
>
>Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid
>is made with real lemons?
>
>Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?
>
>Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?
>
>Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?
>
>When dog food is new and improved tasting, who tests it?
>
>Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?
>
>Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?
>
>You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes?
>Why don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff?
>
>Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?
>
>Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?
>
>If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?
>
>If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?








>On a bar of Dial soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap."
>(and that would be how??...)
>
>On some Swanson frozen dinners: "Serving suggestion: Defrost."
>(but, it's "just" a suggestion.)
>
>On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): "Do not turn upside
down."
>(well...duh, a bit late, huh!)
>
>On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after heating."
>(...and you thought????...)
>
>On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do not iron clothes on body." (but
>wouldn't this save me more time?)
>
>On Boot's Children Cough Medicine:"Do not drive a car or operate
>machinery after taking this medication."
>(We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we
>could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.)
>
>On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness."
>(and... I'm taking this because???....)
>
>On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only."
>(as opposed to...what?)
>
>On Sunsbury's peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts."
>(talk about a news flash)
>
>On an American Airlines packet of nuts: "Instructions: Open packet, eat

>nuts." (Step 3: maybe, uh...fly Delta?)
>
>On a Swedish chainsaw:"Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or
>genitals." (..was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)
>

 

chill a bit love, no4 would go down nice i've got bloody munchies ..bacon and egg looks like . gotta a go i've got to go and wake our lass up to come down and make it for me ..(dancin) ....

 

I agree it's really funny. Can we have some more please ? And to think some people find American humour odd, I don't know

 

Don't worry YT

Many of those happen here as well

 

your sarcasm has not dulled with age dearest....you are still my fantasy man.

xxx

 

what you fail to understand is...

I ACTUALLY found it funny! I got it at work and was laughing out loud at my desk...when my co-workers read it they were laughing too. that list is ssssooooooooooo true!
ff

 

be careful how you wake her sweetie

otherwise you might be eating your teeth instead...lol