Harry Istead Harry is short for Harrygration His favourite solvent is gorilla glue He's never been to Stranraer Harry likes pans. Every year he travels to Sarcelles, France, the home of Tefal, for an annual cookwear convention. He's banned from every Superdrug in the country, except from their Carlisle store. His favourite colour is Tempest's Teapot During the pandemic, he taught himself how to play the citar, speak Navajo, and did an online degree in Mermaid studies. He is a Renault Fuego enthusiast
Harry's penis featured in the Guinness book of records. He has now had to hand in his library membership card. Harry loves to piss in the shower. which is great for him but not so good for the B & Q cleaners who have to sort his wet mess out afterwards. Harry has 3 sisters called Larry Barry and Gary. Harry has the memory of an elephant. He went to Whipsnade zoo amd remembers seeing an elephant. Harry can fart the theme tune to Antiques Roadshow. Harry's left armpit is bigger than his right and houses a small family of raccoons. On the 5th day of every month Harry and his family have a game of touch the hutch and pass the bike. Harry loves to toss the caber. His next door neighbour Bishop Cecil Caber and brother Hamish both concur. Harry is a keen stamp collector and his favourite one is called Terence.
Harry is a keen fisherman his biggest catch was caught on camera saving the use of the net His goal is to be is to be in the right plaice at the right time making himself at the front of the line to be number one
His goalkeeping gloves are size XXXXXXL. His hands are marginally smaller than those of Brother Lee Love. He tries not to punch the ball, because, if he does, it travels faster than the speed of light and causes disruptions to the space-time continuum. He is still waiting for a ball to reappear after punching it in 1975.
His real name is Harry Instead. His parents are named Isted but they called him Harry instead. It takes his arse 5 minutes to get out of the front door. He wipes his face with melted chocolate buttons so he can snack out during a game. His tongue is so long it can reach his ears. He collects paper fax rolls and Gestetner ink. His favourite sweets are sherbet lemons which means he tends to have a screwed up face as he reaches the middle bit. He can be seen dancing to "Jake the Peg". The middle leg is just a blur.
He’s a qualified butcher through his Morrisons apprenticeship and is an expert Tripe and pig bag taster . he’s a keen Celebrity spotter and once saw Bradley Walsh whilst he was on the bus to Canvey island to pick up his dads suit from the cleaners . he likes Coffee Guiness and seabrook crisps .
Harry was dating a cross eyed girl, a few weeks later i said, still seeing bridpool, [one eye in Blackpool, the other in Bridlington], Harry said no, i found out she was seeing other guy's on the side.
Harry is one third of novelty naked 1970's disco tribute act Girth, Mïnge and Fire. Continuing the musical theme, Harry is named after his father's favourite crooner - Sammy Davis Junior. Harry is well known for collecting crosses; he especially likes the little jewellery ones with miniature Jesus figures nailed to them.
