Getting pissed is a mind game.......................

Says George Best.</p>

The Daily Drunk plc</p>

International adulterer George 'Belfast shagger' Best says that he can play the game. George's kidney, 78,  has had the ability to play blackgammon since the tender age of 5 without the knowledge of a brain to tell it what to do. This is leaving the one specialist baffled as the kidney should not be allowed to use spell check. There has been a plethora of tests on Georges kidney and the results have come back from the lab with chief lab asisstant Michaela Strachan MD claiming that this will have grave effect on the way we eat steak and kidney pies.</p>

Michaela, 13, went on to say &quot; Kindneys are now claiming that their choice of partner is now gravy which leaves steak to marry up with mushroom and potato. I have spoke to many Television stars who are backing my campaign against drunk kidneys playing backgammon.&quot; </p>

Regular backgammon player and world renowned pragmatist Dalton Grant - who plays football in the 'nets' for Bradford City said that &quot; Who the **** do kidneys think they are? Yeah they like drink but this is taking the piss. Now the boots on the other foot.&quot;</p>

The football asociation have refused comment as they are all on the piss with Gazza and Chris Evans however the backgammon association have stated that while they are not against kidneys playing backgammon they did not want to get involved in any way between the association of steak or kidney respectively.</p>

Mushroom are still off their nut and unavailable for comment.</p>

 

I have now recognised that it was too late to post.....welcome to my world people!!

 

Too late?

It's never too late.

Well, unless you're American and there's a war on. (This attempt at political satire probably does qualify as too late, so I'm wrong on all counts.)

That Pitt the Elder. What a lovely person.