Graves in Barnsley (serious post!)

Does anyone have a loved one buried in one of our towns cemetery's?

Do you tend the grave? Who's responsibility is it? Is it hard to keep it looking respectful?

I'm just interested because of something I was talking about earlier with a local councellor.

 

My mam's buried in Ardsley Cemetery, the one up Hunnungley Lane Stairfoot as you head out towards Worsbro. My dad tends her grave, I don't think anyone tends graves as such as some of them seem untouched for years. I believe they keep an eye out for headstones subsiding and such, but that's it.

 

Aye it's on council site, H&S for leaning stones

 

I think what Farnham Red says applies to all cemeteries in the U.K. A relative can pay for a headstone to be straightened/re-set or to have the lettering cleaned or 're-painted.'
The council or relevant authority will just lay flat an unsafe headstone.

 

There's been quite a controversy about some councils using a hydraulic machine , that's too powerful, to push them down.

 

I had a summer job when I was at school on the Dodworth council where among other things we cleaned up the church graveyard which TBH was totally overgrown. I was told that it was the relatives responsibility (or friends) to tend the plots, anyway we did it for all of them, seemed the respectful thing to do.

 

I know where my grandparents are buried, but have never been back to the graves and don't think I ever will. When its my parents turn, I presume they'll want to be buried, but if they are I doubt I will go back after the funeral. I don't think my wife has ever been to her parents graves either.

The graves themselves mean nothing to me, but I can understand how they can be important to other people. When its my turn I would rather have a plaque on a bench with a nice view than leave behind a plot of land for someone to tend and eventually become neglected.

 

Here in Italy they tend to have a walled cemetery in every comune and most people (cremation is not that common) are buried in walls around the perimeter or rows. These are maintained by the council who even keep the lights / candles burning on the memorials if requested by relatives. I think you book/reserve and pay for a spot whilst alive and then there is a nominal annual rental/maintenance fee that you can either pay in advance of your death or some families pick up the tab. They dont hang about when you snuff it either. Unless it involves a Post mortem you die one day and they bury you the next.

As the family unit is still a strong aspect of society over here, especially in the country, families do seem to visit cemeteries annually if not more frequently. these are not morbid affairs though. The 'day of the dead' is a strong tradition here usually involving family meals, parties and a visit to the cemetery to celebrate the lives of the deceased. I am not religious myself and they can put me in a skip as far as I am concerned (preferably after I have died) but I do like the way they connect with the past over here without dwelling on it .

http://thisitalianlife.blogspot.co.uk/2013/10/auntie-pasta-day-of-dead.html

 

Arranged for my mother to be buried in her father's double grave in Wath. The monumental masons removed the large granite cross, in order that 'pins' could be fitted to prevent it leaning in the future. Considering it had remained upright since 1927 I was surprised that this was necessary, however I was told that Rotherham cemeteries were applying this to all new head stones. I do visit the grave once a year to check it is tidy.

 

My wife will be buried in our back garden. She doesn't know this yet.

 

Patio job imminent then.

 

I remember my parents making a large one off payment to Barnsley Council back in the 60's to maintain my grandparent grave in perpetuity. This seems to have gone out of the window when Barnsley MBC was created. They didn't get a refund though.

 

Wife?

Is that what they call them these days?

 

Have you decided when?

 

My mums family paid for a plot back in 1905, they paid about £11 for it...quite a sum in those days , it was never filled, and last year Wakefield Council offered to buy it back...for £11

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0mFa9Qzzr50