Taoism: **** happens. Confucianism: Confucius say, "**** happens." Buddhism: If **** happens, it isn't really ****. Zen Buddhism: **** is, and is not. Zen Buddhism #2: What is the sound of **** happening? Hinduism: This **** has happened before. Islam: If **** happens, it is the will of Allah. Islam #2: If **** happens, kill the person responsible. Islam #3: If **** happens, blame Israel. Catholicism: If **** happens, you deserve it. Protestantism: Let **** happen to someone else. Presbyterian: This **** was bound to happen. Episcopalian: It's not so bad if **** happens, as long as you serve the right wine with it. Methodist: It's not so bad if **** happens, as long as you serve grape juice with it. Congregationalist: **** that happens to one person is just as good as **** that happens to another. Unitarian: **** that happens to one person is just as bad as **** that happens to another. Lutheran: If **** happens, don't talk about it. Fundamentalism: If **** happens, you will go to hell, unless you are born again. (Amen!) Fundamentalism #2: If **** happens to a televangelist, it's okay. Fundamentalism #3: **** must be born again. Judaism: Why does this **** always happen to us? Calvinism: **** happens because you don't work. Seventh Day Adventism: No **** shall happen on Saturday. Creationism: God made all ****. Secular Humanism: **** evolves. Christian Science: When **** happens, don't call a doctor - pray! Christian Science #2: **** happening is all in your mind. Unitarianism: Come let us reason together about this ****. Quakers: Let us not fight over this ****. Utopianism: This **** does not stink. Darwinism: This **** was once food. Capitalism: That's MY ****. Communism: It's everybody's ****. Feminism: Men are ****. Chauvinism: We may be ****, but you can't live without us... Commercialism: Let's package this ****. Impressionism: From a distance, **** looks like a garden. Idolism: Let's bronze this ****. Existentialism: **** doesn't happen; **** IS. Existentialism #2: What is ****, anyway? Stoicism: This **** is good for me. Hedonism: There is nothing like a good **** happening! Mormonism: God sent us this ****. Mormonism #2: This **** is going to happen again. Wiccan: An it harm none, let **** happen. Scientology: If **** happens, see "Dianetics", p.157. Jehovah's Witnesses: >Knock< >Knock< **** happens. Jehovah's Witnesses #2: May we have a moment of your time to show you some of our ****? Jehovah's Witnesses #3: **** has been prophesied and is imminent; only the righteous shall survive its happening. Moonies: Only really happy **** happens. Hare Krishna: **** happens, rama rama. Rastafarianism: Let's smoke this ****! Zoroastrianism: **** happens half on the time. Church of SubGenius: BoB shits. Practical: Deal with **** one day at a time. Agnostic: **** might have happened; then again, maybe not. Agnostic #2: Did someone ****? Agnostic #3: What is this ****? Satanism: SNEPPAH TIHS. Atheism: What ****? Atheism #2: I can't believe this ****! Nihilism: No ****.
This is all that makes sense to me ....Rastafarianism: Let's smoke this ****!....Them dreadlocks rock.... (nodding2fingers) ....Why not makes sense.
