Has anybody seen..

Discussion in 'Bulletin Board ARCHIVE' started by shenk1, Sep 9, 2013.

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  1. shenk1

    shenk1 Well-Known Member

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    ..any Daddy Longlegs this year ? They seem a bit thin on the ground to me ;)

    Or any really big spiders


    :p


    There you go Stahlrost :D
     
    Last edited: Sep 9, 2013
    shenk1, Sep 9, 2013
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  2. Sta

    Stahlrost Well-Known Member

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    Spiders have 16 legs, great big bulging staring eyes, fangs like bolt croppers and 8 testicles. Their prefered habitat is the foot section of sleeping bags where they feed on toenails and dead bits of skin on the balls of human feet.
     
    Stahlrost, Sep 9, 2013
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  3. shenk1

    shenk1 Well-Known Member

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    Like this ?

    Spring Spider 2.jpg
     
    shenk1, Sep 9, 2013
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  4. JLWBigLil

    JLWBigLil Well-Known Member

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    I agree

    Spiders are the most terrifying things on the planet. Apart from nuns, obviously.
    This is a life size piccie of the spiders in my loft, in my opinion.
    <img src ="http://fc08.deviantart.net/fs70/f/2012/083/a/9/wolf_spider_fangs_by_nicksmacro-d4trsrf.jpg">
     
    JLWBigLil, Sep 9, 2013
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  5. Sta

    Stahlrost Well-Known Member

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    That's a famous picture of a spider eating some of that black fluff that gets stuck down the side of your toenails after a long day tramping through peat bogs.

    This rare specimen only has 6 testicles, which are mounted on its head as you can see.
     
    Stahlrost, Sep 9, 2013
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  6. Sta

    Stahlrost Well-Known Member

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    Re: I agree

    This is a quite common species which despite its terrifying appearance is a great help to man. After suitable training it can be taught to terrify any lady in the vicinity, but then allows itself to be gently caught by you and released into the wild. The resulting strong feelings of admiration for you from the petrified lady can be put to great advantage later on.
     
    Stahlrost, Sep 9, 2013
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  7. MarioKempes

    MarioKempes Well-Known Member

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    Hehe, yes I have been invaded by Daddy Longlegs and giant spiders this year. I'm surprised a post about this hasn't been started already ;)
     
    MarioKempes, Sep 9, 2013
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  8. JLWBigLil

    JLWBigLil Well-Known Member

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    Unfortunately

    I always let out a piercing, high pitched scream whenever I see any spider. This is quickly followed by whimpering, with a complete and total lack of bladder & bowel control by myself.
    My family are so proud of me.
     
    JLWBigLil, Sep 9, 2013
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  9. Sta

    Stahlrost Well-Known Member

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    Re: Unfortunately

    Put yourself in the position of the spider when she first notices you creeping up on her. Poor little spider.
     
    Stahlrost, Sep 9, 2013
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  10. JLWBigLil

    JLWBigLil Well-Known Member

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    The spider thinks

    "Bloody hell! Listen to that big bloke screaming! Oh dear, he seems to have had an accident in his pants".
    An English spider, by the sounds of it.
     
    JLWBigLil, Sep 9, 2013
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  11. Sta

    Stahlrost Well-Known Member

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    An Apology

    I've just been told that this rumour about spiders having 8 testicles is a load of balls I found on the web.
     
    Stahlrost, Sep 9, 2013
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  12. Burgundy Red

    Burgundy Red Well-Known Member

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    Re: The spider thinks

    "Zut alors! Ce grand mec ici, il est fou! Il a chié dans son pantalon!"
    There's a French spider for you.
     
    Burgundy Red, Sep 9, 2013
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  13. Sta

    Stahlrost Well-Known Member

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    And a German one......

    Mein Gott, hör mal dem schreienden Kerl drüben zu! Ach du Liebe, er hat anscheinend in die Hose gemacht!
     
    Stahlrost, Sep 9, 2013
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  14. JLWBigLil

    JLWBigLil Well-Known Member

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    Re: The spider thinks

    They're very articulate.
     
    JLWBigLil, Sep 9, 2013
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  15. JLWBigLil

    JLWBigLil Well-Known Member

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    Re: And a German one......

    You'd better not be importing any German ones into the village, mate. I can't cope with the native ones, never mind any comer-inners!:D
     
    JLWBigLil, Sep 9, 2013
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  16. woolley mammoth

    woolley mammoth Well-Known Member

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    woolley mammoth, Sep 9, 2013
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  17. woolley mammoth

    woolley mammoth Well-Known Member

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    Re: The spider thinks

    French spiders eat French flys - FACT
     
    woolley mammoth, Sep 9, 2013
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  18. woolley mammoth

    woolley mammoth Well-Known Member

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    I think you're getting mixed up with the famous Irish spider ( Paddy long legs)
     
    woolley mammoth, Sep 9, 2013
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  19. Sta

    Stahlrost Well-Known Member

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    Re: The spider thinks

    Surely that should be "Flench Flies"?
     
    Stahlrost, Sep 9, 2013
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  20. woolley mammoth

    woolley mammoth Well-Known Member

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    Re: The spider thinks

    My French isn't great
     
    woolley mammoth, Sep 9, 2013
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