Have you ever had a number 2 at Oakwell or is it strictly ........

a number 1 only, a crafty *** in the cubicle or a tommy tank over a picture of a fat bird modeling a shirt in the programme?

 

I once rogered Dave Booth under the Paddock stand. Does that count has having a number 2 nt

 

Dave Booth was no 3

You mean Barry Murphy

 

On a couple of occasions......

I went in the ladies' toilet at the back of the main stand (in the good old days when we had terracing etc)

 

once, in an......

....absolute emergency, but it was once we'd got the new posh bogs in the Ponty End. Never went in the West Stand. Also once rather painfully held a **** for two hours at Burnden Park due a a total lack of facilities. Well, there was one pooing bog, but there was no door on the cubical, and I thought it might not be very socially acceptable to sit down and start crapping in front of several thousand people. I'm sure it nearly popped out each time we scored. The agony was then compounded when they equalised in the last minute. My mate who supports Forest up and down the country has irritable bowel syndrome, so he's an expert on sit-down bogs in footy grounds.