I got my jeans dirty at the football this afternoon so after wrestling with them to get them off (they were a bit on the small side) I stuck them in the washer. Unfortunately when I came to take them out I discovered that they are now three sizes too big for me. What do I do? Is there anything that I can buy to hold these oversized trousers up? If so where can I get them from? I've tried making a rope out of old panini stickers but unfortunately they seem a bit wonky and as a result they won't fit through the loops at the top of my jeans. I really don't know what to do so I thought that the best thing would be to post this dilemma on the internet like any sane person would.
Dear sir, in reply to your obvious distress I may have a solution. Obviously some people will not believe this but, there is a new newspaper being readied for publication, I suggest as soon as this is available you take said publication and roll some of the pages together, overlapping so that the roll gets longer each time, then when it reaches the length required thread it through the belt loops and staple the ends together. Hey presto! Jobs a good one.