I Am a Trans Barnsley Fan

This with knobs on..

 

Bloody hell. You must have thought long and hard before deciding to post that very personal story on this site. You must have wondered what kind of reaction you might get from your ‘friends’ in cyberspace.

Well, now you know. Live life.

 

Friend who worked in a night club said the ladies were always in a worse condition at the end of a night ....

 

The title thread reminded me of this classic.

 

These are fair points and I 100% know from previous exchanges with you that you are a top class person, so please don't be afraid to ask genuine questions like this. This applies to others too. There's a big difference between difficult questions asked in good faith (which I'm happy to try to answer), and hurtful questions asked in bad faith, which I simply won't. I'm very grateful that so far everyone here has been exceptionally kind. Thank you all.

To answer your question, yes. But this is me specifically, and I don't speak for all trans people. You are absolutely right that historical/stereotypical gender roles are damaging to many people, and these gender roles do contribute to gender dysphoria. However, as I mentioned, my first experiences of gender dysphoria were when I was very young, and focussed on my upset at my physical body rather than what I could and couldn't acceptably do. Removing gender roles as I grew up wouldn't have removed that sensation that something was physically wrong, although it would have helped with the acceptability side.

In response to your message re. disabled toilets, I would ask that people try to see it from my point of view. I have three options:

1. I go in the men's - If my transition is difficult and it's obvious to others I was born male, this is highly embarrassing and feels like confirmation that I'm a weirdo and can never be the person I want to be. If my transition is quite successful and I look genuinely female, then it's just plain weird. Both scenarios are very uncomfortable.
2. I go in the women's - If any woman there can tell or suspect I was born male, then I'm not being fair on those women who may feel extremely uncomfortable with my presence there. Like I said, I respect this and I respect the reasoning. So I couldn't morally do this.
3. I use the usually empty disabled toilet and don't have to weird anyone out.

 

Unless you're Jimmy Saville.


All the best Chips. An excellent post. Well worth the time and angst it must have taken. Hopefully more and more people will become more understanding, accepting and less awkward around the subject. From my limited experience a lot of people will admire you greatly but fail to tell you.

 

All the best Gravy. I can't really add anything that hasn't already been said by the incredible replies above, but your post really is inspiring. This forum is a great place at times with some wonderful people on here. Take care.

 

Outstanding post Gravy, f%$k the haters, one life live it ( how you want) it as no bearing on anyone else, only to the person that matters, and thats you, we ain't on this planet for long, it ain't a rehearsal, fair play to you and I wish you all the best and happiness

 

Just to add from my previous post.

How would you like us to refer to you? I've seen quite closely how confusing it can be not only for someone who is trans, but also those around them, and if you could share your preferences, I think that would help others, but you too.

One other thing i'd like to ask. And I have no right to ask this, and you absolutely don't have to at all. Would you be willing to share points of your journey with us? It could be hugely educational for others but I think it would provide support for you at times that might be tough and you need it. (I'd like to think you can see the level of support for you from the initial replies).

People are here for you as and when you need it. Don't be shy, don't be too proud, don't feel like its a burden on anyone.

*socially distanced hugs*

 

Thank you Gravy Chips. One of the most important and meaningful posts there'll ever be on here. I hope everyone takes the time to think about its content that it deserves and that it must have taken to write.

I'm someone who has friends in the trans community yet your post has still brought so many new perspectives and more understanding to me which I thank you for. I wholeheartedly apologise if it was to set my and others' comments right on the trans women in sport issue that put you in a position of being frustrated with our misconceptions and needing to speak out. Not that it's your responsibility, but your courage to share your experience will have educated so many who have read it, who'll then understand the trans experience better in their everday lives. That's a powerful thing that has made the world a little bit better.

I'm so glad to see the support you're getting and like everyone else, wish you the very best in your journey and want to be part of a network that has your back. You've definitely got a 'family' on this forum and at the heart of it, we can all bond over our shared passion for the Reds and support each other with the rest of what life brings!

 

Well done, mate, beautifully written and brave post, which undoubtedly will help others too. Hopefully you've got the hardest part out of the way now and can concentrate on becoming happy as the real you.

 

Truly an abomination to man and god.

 

Courageous, insightful and beautifully expressed.
Good luck mate.

 

Just want to echo what everyone else has said and offer my best wishes. Good luck mate.

 

Nonsense. Possibly a greater man made invention than the wheel. Particularly with mushy peas and a couple of buttered slices of bread.

 

Bloody hell Gravy, the lengths you’ll go to to upstage my Majority Reports ....joking aside mate, what you’ve written is one of the best posts I’ve ever read on here, , as others have said I wish you and your family all the best on your future, sending you loads of love and respect from the Bossman family

 

I'm with thee on the sloppy peas and bread 'n butter, but gravy? On Chips? Nah, giower lad.

 

I hope you can take some comfort from all the positive replies to your superbly written post. Your comments, along with the wonderful responses, has shown the BBS at it's very best. This is why the BBS has never been just a football site and, hopefully, never will be.

 

Great post gravy, good luck with everything, the replies in this topic show how much support there is out there

 

You have plenty of friends here Gravy. I wish you well with your journey.