I have never seen

a film with either Steven Seagal or Jean-Claude Van Damme in it.

Beat that

 

Cynthia Rostrop ????

 

Lucky you. Try and keep it that way.

I've never seen Celine Dion live in concert.

 

nor me

I've never licked the scrotum of a man. Or a woman.

 

I have never...

continued watching a film once I realised it had Steven Seagal or Jean-Claude Van Damme in it

 

Bet you haven't ever never seen a film with Ernest Borgnine in it. He's in every film. Ever.

 

But if it was that or Celine Dion in concert, what would you do?

 

The Sound of Music , Mary Poppins or Debbie Does Dallas .

 

nah tha fibbin, bet thas seen one on em

 

RE: But if it was that or Celine Dion in concert, what would you do?

I'd lick the scrotum of a woman.

I do not own a BFC top. Or any overpriced, bright coloured, nylon T-shirt of any kind.

 

Nope , none of them .

 

I can't beat that Jay.

But I must point out that you're missing a treat.

The one where Van Damme gets drunk & starts dancing in the bar is class.

Plot to every Jean Claude Van Damme film:

Start - everything is fine, life is normal.
15 minutes in - he gets wronged by someone. His sister gets kidnapped, his brother gets crippled or his honour gets bruised in some way.
30 minutes in - he's in despair ... unsure of what he can do.
1 hour in - something happens that tells him he should pick himself up & sort his life out ... usually a sign such as an eagle taking a **** or a dream about his family.
1 hour 15 minutes in - he decides the best way to sort his life out is to kick the crap out of everyone involved in him being wronged.
1 hour 30 minutes in - the obligatory dual with the single person who was mainly to blame for him being wronged (this must include the "baddy" cheating in some way - such as wearing glass gloves, blinding him with magic dust or some other ridiculous method).
End - Jean Claude wins & gets the girl / title / honour.

Can't comment on Steven Seagal.
My guess is that it's probably similar to the one above, but probably involving a boat.

 

Neither have I mate...

Nor a full James Bond film in one sitting, ever...

I may have watched one in its entirety over a number of years but never in one go...

 

Early Seagal films were quality , it all went wrong when he went environmental!

 

You're in for a treat tonight on Five then

Out For a Kill followed by Bloodsport.
From 9pm.

 

nor a Star Wars film completely.

 

Philistine...

Tut tut tut...

Star Wars should be compulsory viewing...

Simple as!

ff

 

Me neither

and do you know I don't think i want to!

 

Bloodsport is a classic , anything Seagal after Under Siege 2 is a no-no

 

Bloodsport?

What happens in that?
Does he get wronged, but eventually dishes out revenge to those who incurred his wrath?