From: gordonshepherd@barnsleyfc.co.uk [bbm gordon.shep] Date: 30/08/2005 19:00 To: adamhinchcliff@hotmail.co.uk CC: Subject: Dog Turnstiles et al Add Contact Block Sender Show All Headers Print View Dear Adam, I am sorry that i have not been back to you over the past few months but i have been extremely busy. I would like to congratulate you on your ingenuity in relation to your entrepenuership and you are someone we would like to have on board at oakwell. You are clearly a man with pure business acumen and one who thinks "outside the box" so to speak. We feel that with you on board at "team oakwell" we can gain competetive advantage over enterprises such as Rotherham FC and Chesterfield Town. We would be delighted if you could send us a few prototypes of your hat masks to the oakwell box office next time you are at Oakwell. We would be especially interested in the Alex Neil masks as your early market research suggests that demand will be high for people with small faces. We may have to review the pricing policy as we felt that differentiation for players with beards, moustaches or any type of facial deviation was unfair and it would have to be something run past the clubs lawyers as there could be a potential legal action for charging higher prices for dark skin hat masks. On the whole though, the idea is a good one. In relation to dog turnstiles we are extremely pleased. We have realised that there is a gap in the market for animals, pets and beasts to come to oakwell but up until now we have not understood how we can exploit this gap. I had heard rumours in football circles that a similar idea was being tested in Aberdeenshire for rabbit, horse and hare turnstiles but the idea didn't take off too well. This may well be to do with the one pet rule in scotland that i am sure you are aware of. As an introductory offer we shall therefore introduce "hound for a pound" beginning in the near future and see how we go from there. Due to policing of the animals (as you state, some dogs are known to be unruly) we shall only be introducing hound for a pound into the north stand. This brings me to my next point. We were impressed by the boxing in of the North Stand to stop hearing chants from awat fans. We shall be killing two birds with one stone so to speak by using a plastic - lead compound called polypolypeurofpreup which will kill all songs from away fans (especially bad ones about the super red tykes, as you requested). It has also been tested and it will be able to safely house the dogs. We look forward to seeing you in the near future and any more ideas then don't hesitate to email me at the usual address. PS Linesman on wheels would not allowed to be introduced because of FA rules. Kind Regards Gord.
Adam... I'm going up to Aberdeenshire this weekend, incidentally. Would you like me to try and get you some more information on their project?
RE: WTF? In my day you could guarantee a dog would run on the pitch at some point in the game, almost always a white spotted jack russel cross.