I went on a blind date last night

Discussion in 'Bulletin Board ARCHIVE' started by SuperTyke, Oct 22, 2012.

  1. Sup

    SuperTyke Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Oct 12, 2005
    Messages:
    56,271
    Likes Received:
    30,569
    Trophy Points:
    113
    Style:
    Barnsley (full width)
    I said to her, "Let's go back to my place for a shag."

    "We've only just met," she replied, "I know nothing about you."

    "What do you need to know?" I asked.

    She said, "Well, for starters, what sort of things do you like?"

    "Garlic mushrooms or olives," I replied.
     
    SuperTyke, Oct 22, 2012
    #1
  2. Kev b

    Kev b Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Sep 1, 2009
    Messages:
    3,319
    Likes Received:
    216
    Trophy Points:
    63
    Occupation:
    Operation Manager
    Location:
    Sprotbrough, Doncaster
    Home Page:
    Style:
    Barnsley (full width)
    Tumbleweed...
     
    Kev b, Oct 22, 2012
    #2
  3. Allendale-Red

    Allendale-Red Active Member

    Joined:
    Aug 8, 2011
    Messages:
    675
    Likes Received:
    211
    Trophy Points:
    43
    Occupation:
    Pimp
    Location:
    Darton
    Style:
    Barnsley (full width)
    Was this a joke? Or did it actually happen? Either way, disgraceful.
     
    Allendale-Red, Oct 22, 2012
    #3
  4. Bossman

    Bossman Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jan 8, 2009
    Messages:
    15,122
    Likes Received:
    14,382
    Trophy Points:
    113
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Carlton
    Style:
    Barnsley (full width)
    Maybe it could be the start of a new worst joke ever thread

    I once had a car made out of wood
    Wooden body
    Wooden wheels
    Wooden engine
    Problem was....wooden go
     
    Bossman, Oct 22, 2012
    #4
  5. Mr C

    Mr C Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Aug 9, 2011
    Messages:
    24,965
    Likes Received:
    15,739
    Trophy Points:
    113
    Occupation:
    Saving the world.
    Location:
    Wentworth
    Style:
    Barnsley (full width)
    That joke tells you everything you need to know about ST. Except his passion for fluffy, inanimate bed-fellows.
     
    Mr C, Oct 22, 2012
    #5
  6. Kev b

    Kev b Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Sep 1, 2009
    Messages:
    3,319
    Likes Received:
    216
    Trophy Points:
    63
    Occupation:
    Operation Manager
    Location:
    Sprotbrough, Doncaster
    Home Page:
    Style:
    Barnsley (full width)
    Ok then bad joke time then.

    Why was the washing machine laughing ?

    Taking the piss out of the knickers
     
    Kev b, Oct 22, 2012
    #6
  7. Sup

    SuperTyke Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Oct 12, 2005
    Messages:
    56,271
    Likes Received:
    30,569
    Trophy Points:
    113
    Style:
    Barnsley (full width)
    I liked that one
     
    SuperTyke, Oct 22, 2012
    #7
  8. Sup

    SuperTyke Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Oct 12, 2005
    Messages:
    56,271
    Likes Received:
    30,569
    Trophy Points:
    113
    Style:
    Barnsley (full width)
    Who said they were inanimate?

    [video=youtube;AwWeN1ARy74]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AwWeN1ARy74[/video]
     
    SuperTyke, Oct 22, 2012
    #8
  9. Marlon

    Marlon Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Aug 8, 2011
    Messages:
    23,677
    Likes Received:
    14,562
    Trophy Points:
    113
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    HERE.
    Style:
    Barnsley Dark
    texan talking to a yorkshire guy in a pub on a visit to london on about the size of his ranch.
    "yeah" he said "i can get in my car drive for 3 hour and still not have reached the boundary of my ranch you know what i'm saying"
    "Oh aye" said the yorkshire man "i used to have a car like that"
     
    Marlon, Oct 22, 2012
    #9
  10. Bossman

    Bossman Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jan 8, 2009
    Messages:
    15,122
    Likes Received:
    14,382
    Trophy Points:
    113
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Carlton
    Style:
    Barnsley (full width)
    Heehee!
     
    Bossman, Oct 22, 2012
    #10
  11. LiverpoolRed

    LiverpoolRed Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jul 25, 2005
    Messages:
    15,096
    Likes Received:
    7,435
    Trophy Points:
    113
    Location:
    Liverpool, Liverpool, United Kingdom, 105653082800
    Style:
    Barnsley (full width)
    After the recent scandals at the BBC it's been reported that morph was being investigated . Apparently he's a playdohfile!!
     
    LiverpoolRed, Oct 22, 2012
    #11
  12. Marlon

    Marlon Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Aug 8, 2011
    Messages:
    23,677
    Likes Received:
    14,562
    Trophy Points:
    113
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    HERE.
    Style:
    Barnsley Dark
    told Wife i was thinking about taking her paris for a romantic weekend again,
    AGAIN she said what you mean again we've never been.
    Yes i know i said but i once thought about it before
     
    Marlon, Oct 22, 2012
    #12
  13. ark

    ark104 (v2) Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Aug 25, 2011
    Messages:
    6,236
    Likes Received:
    1,630
    Trophy Points:
    113
    Location:
    York
    Style:
    Barnsley (full width)
    In fairness to supertyke, his not understanding irony/bus stop joke he posted about a month ago was my favourite joke I'd heard in ages
     
    ark104 (v2), Oct 22, 2012
    #13
  14. Jack Tatty

    Jack Tatty Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Aug 8, 2011
    Messages:
    21,880
    Likes Received:
    15,657
    Trophy Points:
    113
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Stanley,Wakefield
    Style:
    Barnsley (full width)
    Jack and Jill went up the hill to get something to eat,
    Jack fell on a rozor blade.
    Jill eat.
     
    Jack Tatty, Oct 23, 2012
    #14
  15. Jack Tatty

    Jack Tatty Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Aug 8, 2011
    Messages:
    21,880
    Likes Received:
    15,657
    Trophy Points:
    113
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Stanley,Wakefield
    Style:
    Barnsley (full width)
    Once upon a time there were 3 bears.Daddy bear,mummy bear and baby bear.

    Now there's millions of em.
     
    Jack Tatty, Oct 23, 2012
    #15
  16. Spooky

    Spooky Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jan 4, 2012
    Messages:
    800
    Likes Received:
    753
    Trophy Points:
    93
    Gender:
    Male
    Style:
    Barnsley (full width)
    Where's the king keep his armies?
    up his sleevies
     
    Spooky, Oct 23, 2012
    #16
  17. Tom

    Tommy HillFlicker Active Member

    Joined:
    Aug 20, 2012
    Messages:
    344
    Likes Received:
    52
    Trophy Points:
    28
    Style:
    Barnsley (full width)
    Englishman, Irishman & Scotsman:
    English guy says "My son George was born on St George's Day"
    Scotsman says "That's amazing, my son Andrew was born on St Andrew's Day"
    Irishman says" Can't believe this - my son Pancake".......
     
    Tommy HillFlicker, Oct 23, 2012
    #17
  18. Micky Finn

    Micky Finn Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Nov 2, 2005
    Messages:
    16,873
    Likes Received:
    13,872
    Trophy Points:
    113
    Occupation:
    Light bender
    Location:
    It depends who's asking...
    Style:
    Barnsley (full width)
    Looking round antique shops doesn't mean you're gay, but it does make you buy curios.
     
    Micky Finn, Oct 23, 2012
    #18

Share This Page