Idea for a television programme:

Hammer's Hammer.

Where popular bad-boy rap artist and now God loving Jesus freak MC "You Can't touch this" Hammer hosts a childrens word association game where you musn't pause, hesitate, repeat a word, or say a word I don't like... otherwise you get a bash on the head like this...or like this...the one with the most bruises loses.... look at each other and go Bleugh! Look at everyone at home and go Bleugh! Everyone at home look at them and go Bleugh!

 

That'll never make television TM, it's a ridiculous concept.

 

Also, a spin off for daytime TV:

Holmes under the Hammer:

Where popular bad boy rapper cum God loving Jesus freak and host of Hammer's Hammer MC "You can't touch this" Hammer nails double Olympic gold medal winning athlete Dame Kelly Holnmes in an introduction to the world of straight-ness

 

And...

...Hammers House of Horror, where - oh, fu-ck it, I can't be arsed.

 

What about

Hamas Time:

Where popular bad-boy rap artist and now God loving Jesus freak MC "You Can't touch this" Hammer, meets up with Yusuf Islam, formally 60's singing sensation Cat Stephens and they fight it out about who converted to the best religion. With only music as their weapon.

And grenades.

 

One for the Discovery Channel

Eamon Holmes takes us on a guided tour of the houses of the famous real detective of the Victorian/Edwardian era - Sherlock Holmes.

'Holmes Holmes Homes'.

Renamed for the American Youth Market to 'Holmes Holmes Homes Homes'.

 

West side east side suicide....

Bombers

 

What about: Holmes Under the Hammer?

In which Sherlock Holmes and Mike Hammer have to buy three properties at auction and then work out which one used to be a crime scene. The combination of Holme's 'British stiff upper lip' and Hammer's hard drinking no nonsense style make this original odd couple pairing fascinating viewing. Or am I just bored at work and talking ballax.</p>