If Wilson comes in

And he nicks your wife, shags your daughter and kills your Nan, would you still back him?

 

Difficult one.

It's Christmas so I naturally hate all my family, thus he could nick the Mrs and a single **** would not be given.

My Nan's dead, so he can do his best there.

My daughter is 3, thus paedo activity trumps all in the self righteous stakes, so it'd be a 'no' from me.

 

Number of Christmas presents our lass has bought, including mine and those for her girl friends: none.

Number of Christmas presents I have bought, including the one for me and those for her girl friends: all of them.

Yours, an emasculated shadow of his former self. I remember when Christmas meant drinking and *******.

 

"Now if that Danny Wilson came in here and said that he'd nick my wife, shag my daughter and kill my Nan, I'd say NO! Wilson, you may be the manager who took us to the Premier League but you are not decimating my family and still getting my backing." In a Harry Enfield style.

 

Christmas used to be a magical time of starting mid-day drinking at the BiMBo's do - (anyone now calling it 'Mad Friday' is a lovely person) - and then powering through until battered, kebab smeared and Metrodome receptionist in hand, back to mine for some drunken shenanigans. Repeat again, but to a lesser extent on Christmas Eve.

Now it's all tree, presents, family. It's horrible, just horrible.

 

He'd better not touch my beer or wine!

 

Its not really decimating though unless you have ten nans and he makes them draw lots to choose which one is getting killed... Although nanicide is probably not the best way to make friends or influence people.

 

I wondered if someone was going to pick up on that so I checked it before posting. That's only an historical usage:

decimate
/ˈdɛsɪmeɪt/

verb
verb: decimate; 3rd person present: decimates; past tense: decimated; past participle: decimated; gerund or present participle: decimating

1.
kill, destroy, or remove a large proportion of.
"the inhabitants of the country had been decimated"

•drastically reduce the strength or effectiveness of (something).
"public transport has been decimated"

2.
historical
kill one in every ten of (a group of people, originally a mutinous Roman legion) as a punishment for the whole group.
"the man who is to determine whether it be necessary to decimate a large body of mutineers"

 

An average week day for me.

 

Go on, make us all feel better ffs......

 

He can do all those things for what he did last time. Though probably best for all parties until the daughters 18 not 18 months.

 

Luxury!! I used to dreammmm of a smeared kebab.

That receptionist sarnds a bit vertically challenged.