It's a long shot, I know, but...

Does anyone have a link to a post that was was made quite a long while ago that was about 'you know when you're from barnsley'

it had stuff in like 'you know that "o wo ee nar" isn't japanese' summat like that anyway.

Cheers in advance.

 

this what you want young un?

<p class="MsoPlainText"><span style="font-family: Arial">You know you're from </span><span style="font-family: Arial">Barnsley</span><span style="font-family: Arial"> when ... </span></p> <p class="MsoPlainText"><span style="font-family: Arial">* You define Summer as three months of bad coal picking. </span></p> <p class="MsoPlainText"><span style="font-family: Arial">* Your definition of a small town is one that only has five pubs. </span></p> <p class="MsoPlainText"><span style="font-family: Arial">* Bull bars, 'Tarn Army' and 'traffic light' air fresheners come standard on</span></p> <p class="MsoPlainText"><span style="font-family: Arial">all your cars. </span></p> <p class="MsoPlainText"><span style="font-family: Arial">* You refer to the Tykes as &quot;we.&quot; </span></p> <p class="MsoPlainText"><span style="font-family: Arial">* At least 50% of your relatives used to work downt pit. </span></p> <p class="MsoPlainText"><span style="font-family: Arial">* You can make sense out of the word Asthagorowttegivus. </span></p> <p class="MsoPlainText"><span style="font-family: Arial">* You have ever gotten frostbitten and suntanned in the same week. </span></p> <p class="MsoPlainText"><span style="font-family: Arial">* You identify a </span><span style="font-family: Arial">Sheffield</span><span style="font-family: Arial"> accent as &quot;Southern&quot;. </span></p> <p class="MsoPlainText"><span style="font-family: Arial">* You know what &quot;twocking&quot; is. (Taking Without Owners Consent) </span></p> <p class="MsoPlainText"><span style="font-family: Arial">* You learned to drive a Reliant Robin before the training wheels were off</span></p> <p class="MsoPlainText"><span style="font-family: Arial">your bike. </span></p> <p class="MsoPlainText"><span style="font-family: Arial">* &quot;Down South&quot; to you means Chapletown. </span></p> <p class="MsoPlainText"><span style="font-family: Arial">* Traveling coast to coast means going from Wath-on Dearne to the Ladybower</span></p> <p class="MsoPlainText"><span style="font-family: Arial">Res. </span></p> <p class="MsoPlainText"><span style="font-family: Arial">* The &quot;Big Five&quot; means LYONS CAKES, S.R. GENT, SLAZENGER, SHAW CARPETS &amp;</span></p> <p class="MsoPlainText"><span style="font-family: Arial">WOMBWELL FOUNDRY. </span></p> <p class="MsoPlainText"><span style="font-family: Arial">* Snap is something you eat. </span></p> <p class="MsoPlainText"><span style="font-family: Arial">* You know that a bag of spice is something kids eat. </span></p> <p class="MsoPlainText"><span style="font-family: Arial">* You were brassed off by the movie &quot;Brassed Off.&quot; </span></p> <p class="MsoPlainText"><span style="font-family: Arial">* You have no problem saying Peniston. </span></p> <p class="MsoPlainText"><span style="font-family: Arial">* You consider Holmfirth &quot;exotic.&quot; </span></p> <p class="MsoPlainText"><span style="font-family: Arial">* You got a passport to go to </span><span style="font-family: Arial">Leeds</span><span style="font-family: Arial">. </span></p> <p class="MsoPlainText"><span style="font-family: Arial">* Your idea of foreign culture is listening to Oasis. </span></p> <p class="MsoPlainText"><span style="font-family: Arial">* You don't have a coughing fit from one sip of Barnsley Bitter. </span></p> <p class="MsoPlainText"><span style="font-family: Arial">* Summat to Eight is a meal, not the time of day. </span></p> <p class="MsoPlainText"><span style="font-family: Arial">* You used to think Mischievous Night was included as an official school</span></p> <p class="MsoPlainText"><span style="font-family: Arial">holiday. </span></p> <p class="MsoPlainText"><span style="font-family: Arial">* You know that Jump is a real place. </span></p> <p class="MsoPlainText"><span style="font-family: Arial">* You have one word that means Hello, How are you,Whats this, Hang on a</span></p> <p class="MsoPlainText"><span style="font-family: Arial">minute and bloody hell! </span></p> <p class="MsoPlainText"><span style="font-family: Arial">(Ayup..) </span></p> <p class="MsoPlainText"><span style="font-family: Arial">* A Chip oil and a Bug oil is a grand night owt. </span></p> <p class="MsoPlainText"><span style="font-family: Arial">* Eastern Promise is a blind date in </span><span style="font-family: Arial">Doncaster</span><span style="font-family: Arial">. </span></p> <p class="MsoPlainText"><span style="font-family: Arial">* Your idea of creative landscaping is a statue of a miner next to your</span></p> <p class="MsoPlainText"><span style="font-family: Arial">Leylandii. </span></p> <p class="MsoPlainText"><span style="font-family: Arial">* You think there should be a &quot;Southern puff, go home&quot; bumper sticker on</span></p> <p class="MsoPlainText"><span style="font-family: Arial">every car north of Ecclesfield. </span></p> <p class="MsoPlainText"><span style="font-family: Arial">* Your neighbor throws a party to celebrate his new flymo. </span></p> <p class="MsoPlainText"><span style="font-family: Arial">* A Friday night out is taking your girlfriend yomping up the tips with the</span></p> <p class="MsoPlainText"><span style="font-family: Arial">rotweiller. </span></p> <p class="MsoPlainText"><span style="font-family: Arial">* McDonalds is a posh night up town. </span></p> <p class="MsoPlainText"><span style="font-family: Arial">* You go to work in a shellsuit in the morning and return home wearing</span></p> <p class="MsoPlainText"><span style="font-family: Arial">someone else's shorts. </span></p> <p class="MsoPlainText"><span style="font-family: Arial">* Kids roar.. </span></p> <p class="MsoPlainText"><span style="font-family: Arial">* You know how to line dance. </span></p> <p class="MsoPlainText"><span style="font-family: Arial">* pop is a drink, not your grandad </span></p> <p class="MsoPlainText"><span style="font-family: Arial">* Formal wear is a kappa shirt, union jack boxers and a baseball cap. </span></p> <p class="MsoPlainText"><span style="font-family: Arial">* You think a warm winter coat is Thompsons Waterseal </span></p> <p class="MsoPlainText"><span style="font-family: Arial">* You are unaware there is a legal drinking age. </span></p> <p class="MsoPlainText"><span style="font-family: Arial">* You have to go to Tererife to get a tan in August. </span></p> <p class="MsoPlainText"><span style="font-family: Arial">* You have caught a fish in the Dearne and it glowed in the dark. </span></p> <p class="MsoPlainText"><span style="font-family: Arial">* You know where the towns of Pogmoor and Pilley are </span></p> <p class="MsoPlainText"><span style="font-family: Arial">* You have more fishing poles than teeth... </span></p> <p class="MsoPlainText"><span style="font-family: Arial">* You decided to have a picnic this summer because it fell on a weekend . </span></p> <p class="MsoPlainText"><span style="font-family: Arial">* You know that &quot;Oo war shi wi&quot;, &quot;She wa wi ersen&quot;, O wa Shee Naa&quot; &quot;aaah shi</span></p> <p class="MsoPlainText"><span style="font-family: Arial">wa&quot; isn't Chinese </span></p> <p class="MsoPlainText"><span style="font-family: Arial">* You proudly claim that the Town Hall is the highest point in </span><span style="font-family: Arial">Yorkshire</span><span style="font-family: Arial">. </span></p> <p class="MsoPlainText"><span style="font-family: Arial">* You have subsidence insurance. </span></p> <p class="MsoPlainText"><span style="font-family: Arial">* Your idea of a cruise ship is a tin bath in the Dearne, and your idea of a</span></p> <p class="MsoPlainText"><span style="font-family: Arial">foreign cruise ship is </span></p> <p class="MsoPlainText"><span style="font-family: Arial">rowing boat on Elsecar Reservoir. </span></p> <p class="MsoPlainText"><span style="font-family: Arial">* You can pronounce &quot;</span><span style="font-family: Arial">Alhambra</span><span style="font-family: Arial">&quot; but can't spell it. </span></p> <p class="MsoPlainText"><span style="font-family: Arial">* If someone says &quot;Castlereagh,&quot; &quot;Pitt&quot; or &quot;Peel&quot; you think Street instead</span></p> <p class="MsoPlainText"><span style="font-family: Arial">of Prime Minister </span></p> <p class="MsoPlainText"><span style="font-family: Arial">* You get on a bus marked &quot;Jump Circular&quot; without a second thought. </span></p> <p class="MsoPlainText"><span style="font-family: Arial">* You can cross two lanes of heavy traffic and U-turn through a central</span></p> <p class="MsoPlainText"><span style="font-family: Arial">reservation while avoiding </span></p> <p class="MsoPlainText"><span style="font-family: Arial">two joggers and a traccy bus then fit into the oncoming traffic flow while</span></p> <p class="MsoPlainText"><span style="font-family: Arial">never touching the </span></p> <p class="MsoPlainText"><span style="font-family: Arial">brake. </span></p> <p class="MsoPlainText"><span style="font-family: Arial">* You can consistently be the second or third person to run a red stop</span></p> <p class="MsoPlainText"><span style="font-family: Arial">light. </span></p> <p class="MsoPlainText"><span style="font-family: Arial">* You got rear-ended 10 times by people with no insurance. </span></p> <p class="MsoPlainText"><span style="font-family: Arial">* The major question when the Barnsley Chronicle runs a restaurant review is</span></p> <p class="MsoPlainText"><span style="font-family: Arial">&quot;Whats a restaurant?&quot; </span></p> <p class="MsoPlainText"><span style="font-family: Arial">* The rest of the review is about how </span><span style="font-family: Arial">Barnsley</span><span style="font-family: Arial"> got all cosmopolitan when</span></p> <p class="MsoPlainText"><span style="font-family: Arial">Burtons</span><span style="font-family: Arial"> sold out to Ronald </span></p> <p class="MsoPlainText"><span style="font-family: Arial">McDonald </span></p> <p class="MsoPlainText"><span style="font-family: Arial">* You judge a cafe by its black pudding and gravy. </span></p> <p class="MsoPlainText"><span style="font-family: Arial">* You consider having warm chips and a pickled onion as your birthright. </span></p> <p class="MsoPlainText"><span style="font-family: Arial">* You call drinking water &quot;Dearne Valley Pop&quot;. </span></p> <p class="MsoPlainText"><span style="font-family: Arial">* You visit another town and they &quot;claim&quot; to have Barnsley Chop -- but you</span></p> <p class="MsoPlainText"><span style="font-family: Arial">know better </span></p> <p class="MsoPlainText"><span style="font-family: Arial"></span></p>

 

RE: this what you want young un?

That's the one! (y)

Fantastic!

Thanks a lot (respect)

 

You're welcome - have you seen this one?

<p align="left" style="text-align: left" class="MsoTitle"><font size="2" face="arial,helvetica,sans-serif">If Star W</font><font size="2" face="arial,helvetica,sans-serif">ars was set</font><font size="2" face="arial,helvetica,sans-serif"> in Barnsley</font></p> <p style="margin: 5pt 36pt 0.0001pt" class="MsoNormal"><font size="2" face="arial,helvetica,sans-serif"><span style="font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;">Chewbacca would look roughly the same except he'd only be about 5ft tall, from Kendray and called Spanner.</span></font></p><p style="margin: 5pt 36pt 0.0001pt" class="MsoNormal"><font size="2" face="arial,helvetica,sans-serif"><span style="font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;">He'd have the same amount of body hair but would also have tattoos, would permanently smell of drink and invariably sport either a </span><span style="font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;">Barnsley</span><span style="font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;"> or </span><span style="font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;">England</span></font><font size="2" face="arial,helvetica,sans-serif"><span style="font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;"> top.</span></font></p> <p class="MsoBlockText"><font size="2" face="arial,helvetica,sans-serif">Obi-Wan Kenobi would invariably be referred to as </font><font size="2" face="arial,helvetica,sans-serif">Chief or C</font><font size="2" face="arial,helvetica,sans-serif">ocker </font><font size="2" face="arial,helvetica,sans-serif">by his cohorts. People trying to start a fight with him would address him as Wanky-Nobby.</font></p> <p class="MsoBlockText"><font size="2" face="arial,helvetica,sans-serif">Darth Vader would be referred to as 'Elmit Eead' or in moments of stress 'that dome-edded get'</font></p> <p class="MsoBlockText"><font size="2" face="arial,helvetica,sans-serif">R2D2 would refuse to go out on the streets after 10pm because of the number of drunks who would try to stuff chip papers in his head casing or piss on him. He would also refuse to go near groups of young kids at any time because of the high risk of being spray painted/dumped in front of a speeding train/set on fire.</font></p> <p class="MsoBlockText"><font size="2" face="arial,helvetica,sans-serif">Although proficient in over 3500 languages C3P0 would still be unable to understand anything anyone from Athersley said. He would regularly get beaten up for being a knacker-faced poof from Sheffield.</font></p> <p class="MsoBlockText"><font size="2" face="arial,helvetica,sans-serif">The Millenium Falcon would have static strips, tinted windscreens and extra-flared exhaust ports. It would have a Barnsley Chronicle I Love Tarn Army sticker in the back window and a St Georges Cross SUN SUPPORTS OUR BOYS bumper sticker. </font></p> <p class="MsoBlockText"><font size="2" face="arial,helvetica,sans-serif">Princess Leia would get captured by Darth Vader because it's hard to run very fast when you're wearing 5-inch platform heels and a tiny silver mini-skirt which keeps hiking up over your arse every two steps. And you've been a heavy smoker since you were 6.</font></p> <p class="MsoBlockText"><font size="2" face="arial,helvetica,sans-serif">The best way to destroy the Death Star would not necessarily be a desperate all out attack. Two easy ways would be to alter its orbit so it passed through Grimethorpe and tell the locals it was full of Cockneys or leave it unattended in Alhambra car park. Or you could convert it into a huge Takeaway. </font></p> <p style="margin: 5pt 36pt 0.0001pt"><font size="2" face="arial,helvetica,sans-serif">Lines from the film as they would be uttered in the vernacular:-
Han Solo &quot;I've got a real bad feeling about this&quot;
translation: &quot;Am Kackin Missen&quot; </font></p> <p style="margin: 5pt 36pt 0.0001pt"><font size="2" face="arial,helvetica,sans-serif">&quot;Bring 'em on! I prefer a straight fight to all this sneaking around.&quot;
&quot;Come right art you b*stards Al tek ont lotton yer&quot; </font></p> <p style="margin: 5pt 36pt 0.0001pt"><font size="2" face="arial,helvetica,sans-serif">&quot;Hokey religions and ancient weapons are no match for a good blaster at your side, kid.&quot;
&quot;Bugger the mumbo - wot tha needs is a chuffin gret crickit bat&quot; </font></p> <p style="margin: 5pt 36pt 0.0001pt"><font size="2" face="arial,helvetica,sans-serif">Darth Vader trying to shoot down Luke Skywalker -&quot;The Force is strong in this one&quot;
&quot;Thar allus Laikin abart, theee&quot; </font></p> <p style="margin: 5pt 36pt 0.0001pt"><font size="2" face="arial,helvetica,sans-serif">Princess Leia - &quot;You're a little short for a Stormtrooper aren't you?&quot;
&quot;Ah dint think they took short-arses in t coppers?&quot; </font></p> <p style="margin: 5pt 36pt 0.0001pt"><font size="2" face="arial,helvetica,sans-serif">&quot;This bucket of bolts is never going to get us past that blockade.&quot;
&quot;We nackered in this peece er crap&quot; </font></p> <p style="margin: 5pt 36pt 0.0001pt"><font size="2" face="arial,helvetica,sans-serif">Admiral Motti - &quot;Don't try to frighten us with your sorcerer's ways, Lord Vader.&quot;
&quot;You think you're that hard, yer southern get - artside!!&quot; </font></p> <p style="margin: 5pt 36pt 0.0001pt"><font size="2" face="arial,helvetica,sans-serif">Obi Wan - &quot;I felt a great disturbance in the Force.&quot; It's looking black over Bill's Mother's&quot; </font></p> <p style="margin: 5pt 36pt 0.0001pt"><font size="2" face="arial,helvetica,sans-serif">Luke to the Emperor -&quot;Your overconfidence is your weakness.&quot;
&quot;You think yer really summat, dunt yer&quot;</font> </p>

 

RE: You're welcome - have you seen this one?

Hahaha

PMSL

Hadn't seen it, cheers.

 

Plus...

It's the only place in the U.K. where you can still find white dog turds.

Usually on Farrar Street

 

Very good,

I haven't seen that one before.