I've had enough of the ''Hartog Set'' ...

... they are a bunch of buffoons & constantly let me down.
I will have my revenge.

So - I've decided to ''Kill Dirk'' & the rest of the 'GAB One Eyed Womb Ferret Squad'.

I've drawn up a death list - which is below:
(1) TM
Codename : Skunkpants
(2) Dillinger
Codename : Albino Stoat
(3) Windy
Codename : Bongy Eyed Mink
(4) Jay
Codename : Big Gay Bear
(5) Dirk
Codename : Dwarf Rabbit

I, TFP (Codename : Bald Coot), will destroy them using my new 'Lundwood Lion' Kung Fu technique.

I deserve my revenge ... and they deserve to die.

On the bright side - I will ensure some 'cool' music is playing as I slaughter them.

Get ready.

 

Ah So Baldsan but first

You must battle a room full of my 'not quite right' squad. Armed with old socks.

 

How many of them are there?

And like you - do they also require masks?

If I start breakdancing & chopping their legs off ... do you think that after I've done about 10 of them - the others might twig on & possibly get their legs out of my way? Or wear a really strong pair of shin pads?

I'd watch out if I were you.
I've been trained by the bird in the pastry shop at Goldthorpe - Pie May.

 

ooh, I'm second last

Therefore second hardest. I get to shoot you in the chest, but rather than kill you, I'll bury you alive in a coffin. I hope you've been practicing breaking planks of wood with your fist from only six inches away for just such an eventuality.

 

RE: ooh, I'm second last

I think you'll find that you are the one eyed bint if you are second last ... she killed Budd - thus making him 3rd last.
Therefore - you are an evil bitch ... and a gay witch.

I think it went - Chink, Darkie Bint, Budd, Billy one eye & Glasshopper.

We both have Ashia Hansen pork swords.

 

Then he must battle the head of Lundwood's crime syndicate

O -Its-Itchy, or 'Bottom-mouth'. In a room above the chinky on Summer Lane.

 

RE: ooh, I'm second last

I thought Windy would be her. What with the bongy eyes.

 

Nah ...

... Windy is Budd - the one who isn't really part of the squad, but thinks he's all clever & that.

And he's obviously a bum worrier.

I plan to kill Dirk with my 5 finger truffle shuffle.

 

What are mates for?

answer: paying for a strap on.

 

Pffff.

Me & the farmer like Brother, like Sister
Getting on like hand & blister ...

Your character is Hattori Asda (the place you buy your clothes).

Tallinn.
2 weeks tomorrow.
Oh aye.