Jay

Discussion in 'Bulletin Board ARCHIVE' started by Isle of Wight Tyke, Sep 14, 2005.

  1. Isl

    Isle of Wight Tyke Active Member

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    You're banned from the Isle of Wight. I've told the ferry company to look for people with big hair and those that look like they sit on a sofa a lot.

    Obviously I've had to make some assumptions.

    I hope this helps you save money.

    PS. I'm only friends with the people at the Southampton to Cowes route, so to implement the ban effectively, please don't try the Portsmouth route.
     
  2. Jay

    Jay Well-Known Member

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    Thanks very much IOWT

    Money is tight at the moment and that will go some way in helping me balance my finances. Now if I could only ban myself from the mucky-video shop.
     
  3. Gue

    Guest Guest

    RE: Thanks very much IOWT

    Seemed more like you'd banned yourself from the shower on Setdi.

    I don't want to eat at McDonalds anymore.
    The easy option would be to simply not go in there ... but I've decided to write to Ronald & ask him to issue a banning order around every one of their 'restaurants' in the UK.
    And fit 'anti-TFP' devices on all their doors.
    And surgically alter the shape of my mouth so a Big Mac cannot fit in.
    And wipe the section of my brain which contains any reference to McDonalds.

    I think that's perfectly reasonable.
    Oh, and I've asked them to put £3.84 (the exact amount of money I spend in there) into the swear filter on their tills.
     
  4. Isl

    Isle of Wight Tyke Active Member

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    Nicely done

    I think it's in the detail to implement a successful ban.

    My missus has just phoned me in a right state, saying she can't get home "because she has long hair" It's chaos at the boat apparently and they've got sofas in the waiting room.

    I might have to make a few calls.

    Jay's still banned though.
     
  5. Gue

    Guest Guest

    Consider yourself lucky.

    Ronald has just sent someone round to wipe my brain with an egg whisk & re-shape my mouth with a hockey stick.
    They also want to implant a micro-chip in me which will set off the anti-TFP devices ... but it needs fitting in my scrotum, which can't be a good thing.

    I maybe should have thought about this a bit more.

    My plan to 'ban myself from doing any proper work' seems to be ticking along nicely though.
     
  6. Isl

    Isle of Wight Tyke Active Member

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    Your instincts are correct

    anything that needs fitting into your scrotum (pretend balls aside) isn't a good thing and probably a tad uncomfortable.

    Can you outrun Ronald? I know his shoes are a bit impractical for leggin' it.

    My work ban isn't shaping up well at all. Dirks posted his 1000th message already, I think I need a higher spec PC or something.
     
  7. Gue

    Guest Guest

    RE: Your instincts are correct

    Problem is - Ronald has turned up with the rest of his family ... that Jane McDonald & The McDonald Observatory of Texas.
    I think I can outrun the observatory, as it looks pretty bulky ... but that screeching bint is wearing Dunlop Green Flash, so I think I'm doomed.
    If they lay me out on a bench & attempt to open my sack with a laser - I'll just mention the 'doomsday project' or summat ... that'll stop them in their tracks.

    Below is a breakdown of Dirk's 1000 posts:
    Filth - 371
    Footy - 11
    Rubbish - 239
    Sense - 4
    loving - 102
    Biscuit spitting - 273
     
  8. Gue

    Guest Guest

    RE: Your instincts are correct

    It's a good job I've now decided to post less frequently and actually avoid bankrupcy.

    1003
     
  9. Gue

    Guest Guest

    RE: Your instincts are correct

    ''bankrupcy''?
    You are like Jay in the Kebab shop ... your 't' is missing.

    That is one way to look at things.
    Or - you could post more, lose the Hillards box & end up on the streets.
    You'd end up with a better class of woman than you're currently mantling.
     

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