Deon Burton was ill so Brian Laws offers to go shopping for him. While in the local supermarket he bumps into Simon Davey. "Hello Brian what are you doing here?" Im getting a bag of Potatoes for Deon Burton" replies Laws - "Oh" says Simon, "Sounds like a fair swap to me".
No doubt politically incorrect, but here goes.... A Ssotsman was seen walking through Glasgow with a wellington on his knob. Police say there's no cause for alarm... he's obviously just feckinaboot!
