There was a letter on my doormat this morning with the words "Do not Bend" on it. I thought, well how the f**k am I going to pick it up?</p> </p> Had an email yesterday off some bird "32, single, bored, looking for some action." So I sent her some ironing....that should keep her busy.</p> </p> A bloke is driving happily along in his car with his girlfriend when he's pulled over by the police. The police officer approaches him and asks, "Have you been drinking Sir?" "No. Why?" replies the man. "Was I all over the road?" "No," replies the officer, "you were driving splendidly. It was the ugly fat bird in the passenger seat that made me suspicious." </p> </p> </p>
