One fall day Bill was out raking leaves when he noticed a hearse slowly drive by. Following the first hearse was a second hearse, which was followed by a man walking solemnly along, followed by a dog, and then about 200 men walking in single file. Intrigued, Bill went up to the man following the second hearse and asked him who was in the first hearse."My wife," the man replied. "I'm sorry," said Bill."What happened to her?" "My dog bit her and she died." Bill then asked the man who was in the second hearse.The man replied, "My mother-in-law. My dog bit her and she died as well." Bill thought about this for a while. He finally asked the man, "Can I borrow your dog?" To which the man replied, "Get in line."
another one.... Redneck elevator A redneck family from the hills was visiting the city and they were in a mall for the first time in their lives. The father and son were strolling around while the wife shopped. They were amazed by almost everything they saw, but especially by two shiny, silver walls that could move apart and then slide back together again. The boy asked, 'Paw, what's 'at?' The father (never having seen an elevator) responded, 'Son, I dunno. I ain't never seen anything like that in my entire life, I ain't got no idea'r what it is.' While the boy and his father were watching with amazement, a fat old lady in a wheel chair rolled up to the moving walls and pressed a button. The walls opened and the lady rolled between them into a small room. The walls closed and the boy and his father watched the small circular number above the walls light up sequentially.. They continued to watch until it reached the last number and then the numbers began to light in the reverse order. Then the walls opened up again and a gorgeous, voluptuous 24 year-old blonde woman stepped out. The father, not taking his eyes off the young woman, said quietly to his son, 'Boy..................go gitcha Momma................'