A bus full of nuns plummets off a cliff. They all die. The nuns are admitted to Heaven through a special gate and are expected to make one last confession before they become angels. Several nuns are lined up at this gate waiting to be absolved of their last sins before they are made holy. "And so," says St. Peter, "have you ever had any contact with a penis?" "Well," says the first Nun in line, "I did once just touch the tip of one with the tip of my finger." "OK" says St. Peter, "Dip your finger in the holy water and pass on into heaven." The next Nun admits that "Well, yes, I did once get carried away and I, you know, sort of massaged one a bit." "OK" says St. Peter, "Rinse your hand in the holy water and pass on into heaven." Suddenly there is some jostling in the queue and one of the nuns is trying to cut in front. "Well, now, what's going on here?" says St. Peter. "Well, your holiness," says the Nun who is trying to improve herposition in the queue, "If I'm going to have to gargle that stuff, I want to do it before Sister Mary sticks her arse in it!" (Y) (N) (lol)
RE: Joke!!!!!! 2 So there are three golfers, (Bob, Max, and Ted) who are looking for a fourth. Bob mentions that his friend George is a pretty good golfer, so they decide to invite him for the following Saturday. "Sure, I'd love to play," says George, "but I may be about ten minutes late, so wait for me." So Saturday rolls around. Bob, Max, and Ted arrive promptly at 9:00, and find George already waiting for them. He plays right-handed, and beats them all. Quite pleased with their new fourth, they ask him if he'd like to play again the following Saturday. "Yeah, sounds great," says George. "But I may be about ten minutes late, so wait for me." The following Saturday, again, all four golfers show up on time, but this time George plays left-handed, and beats them all. As they're getting ready to leave, George says: "See you next Saturday. But I may be about ten minutes late, so wait for me." Every week, George is right on time, and plays great with whichever hand he decides to use. And every week, he departs with the same message. After a couple months, Ted is pretty tired of this routine, so he says. "Wait a minute, George. Every week you say you may be about ten minutes late, but you're right on time. And you beat us either left-handed or right-handed. What's the story?" "Well," George says, "I'm kind of superstitious. When I get up in the morning, I look at my wife. If she's sleeping on her left side, I play left-handed. And if she's sleeping on her right side, I play right-handed." "So what do you do if she's sleeping on her back?" Bob asks. "Then I'm about ten minutes late," George answers
