Jokey Jokey, pig in a pokey.

Paddy and Eileen are sixty-nining when Paddy says,
"Eileen, did you know that the Government spent 2 million on repairs to the President’s house last year?"
"Hell!" exclaims Eileen. "That's too much money."

"And, "says Paddy, "did you know that one rape occurs every ten minutes in Dublin?"
"Hell! " replies Eileen. "Paddy, you know everything."

"Eileen," says Paddy, "Did you know that Enya had an operation to make her tits bigger?"
"Really!" says Eileen. "But Paddy?" She asks, "Even though you know everything, why are you telling me all this while we are having sex?

To which Paddy replies, " Remember last year, when you forgot to buy the toilet paper over the Christmas weekend, and we had to use newspaper?"
"Yes, I remember", says Eileen.
"Well," says Paddy, you still have page 16 of The Irish Times stuck to your arse."