just in case you need a laff,or chuckle,maybe a giggle

Just in case you need a laugh:

Remember it takes a college degree to fly a plane, but only a high school diploma to fix one. Reassurance for those who fly routinely in their jobs or on vacations.

After every flight, UPS pilots fill out a form, called a "gripe sheet," which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft. The mechanics correct the problems; document their repairs on the form,
and then pilots review the gripe sheets before the next flight.

Never let it be said that ground crews lack a sense of humor. Here are some actual maintenance complaints submitted by UPS ' pilots (marked with a P) and the solutions recorded (marked with an S) by maintenance engineers.

By the way, UPS is the only major airline that has never, ever, had an accident.

P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement .
S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.

P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.

P: Something loose in cockpit.
S: Something tightened in cockpit

P: Dead bugs on windshield.
S: Live bugs on back-order.

P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent.
S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.

P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed.

P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
S: DME volume set to more believable level.

P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S: That's what friction locks are for.

P: IFF inoperative in OFF mode.
S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.

P: Suspected crack in windshield.
S: Suspect you're right.

P: Number 3 engine missing.
S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.

P: Aircraft handles funny. (I love this one!)
S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.

P: Target radar hums.
S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.

P: Mouse in cockpit.
S: Cat installed.

And last but no least:..................

P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer.
S: Took hammer away from midget

 

LOL.... (clap) ....I reckon i could fly a plane at this moment in time.... (nodding2fingers) ....

Well done Bob, PS hope all's well.... (blaze) ....

 

well Stevie,im asking you to Take off
cheers
cant wait for the Darts

 

Yep come on Barneveld.... (rockon) ....

 

done be FFin daft you swilly pollick its west an
and whit lock

 

Whoops'' sorry.... (doh) ....Just realised what year i'm in....

 

Good game Bob, come on the Aussie... (nodding2fingers) ....

 

yes enjobut some one had to loseyed every dart