Let's have a Christmas Cracker 'joke' thread...

Discussion in 'Bulletin Board ARCHIVE' started by MossMan, Dec 19, 2006.

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  1. Mos

    MossMan Active Member

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    I'll start
     
    MossMan, Dec 19, 2006
    #1
  2. Mos

    MossMan Active Member

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    Which bird can lift the heaviest objects?

    A Crane
     
    MossMan, Dec 19, 2006
    #2
  3. AIR

    AIRTyke New Member

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    What did mummy glowworm say to daddy glowworm about baby glowworm?

    "He's bright for his age"
     
    AIRTyke, Dec 19, 2006
    #3
  4. Jay

    Jay Well-Known Member

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    Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

    Because chickens weren't invented
     
    Jay, Dec 19, 2006
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  5. Gue

    Guest Guest

    What do you call a singing biscuit?

    Lionel Richtea
     
    Guest, Dec 19, 2006
    #5
  6. Gue

    Guest Guest

    Why was the washing machine laughing ?

    Because it was taking the piss out of the underpants.
     
    Guest, Dec 19, 2006
    #6
  7. Jay

    Jay Well-Known Member

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    Where do you get your christmas crackers? nt
     
    Jay, Dec 19, 2006
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  8. Gue

    Guest Guest

    Austria

    It's nice for a holiday too.
     
    Guest, Dec 19, 2006
    #8
  9. Jay

    Jay Well-Known Member

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    I've been to Austria. FACT

    And I didn't go skiing either. Just thought I'd mention that.
     
    Jay, Dec 19, 2006
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  10. Gue

    Guest Guest

    I've never been to Austria.

    Or many other places. </p>

    </p>

    I've been ski-ing though. </p>
     
    Guest, Dec 19, 2006
    #10
  11. Jay

    Jay Well-Known Member

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    I've been skiing too

    twice. I've also not been skiing. Got to Dover and there was a ferry strike so we waited 24 hours then had to come home. Got off with a lass and went out with her for 2 years so it wasn't all bad.
     
    Jay, Dec 19, 2006
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  12. Gue

    Guest Guest

    RE: I've been skiing too

    blimey I went skiing to Austria, we had to wait at Dover for 24 hours too. We read every porn mag in the shops till the ferry went.
     
    Guest, Dec 19, 2006
    #12
  13. Isl

    Isle of Wight Tyke Active Member

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    RE: I've been skiing too

    You went out with her for 2 years? Did your family notice you were gone.

    I suspect not.
     
    Isle of Wight Tyke, Dec 19, 2006
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  14. Jay

    Jay Well-Known Member

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    That's just silly nt
     
    Jay, Dec 19, 2006
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  15. Rosco

    Rosco Well-Known Member

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    I've been not skiing loads of times

    Like today for instance.

    And once in France, near Frejus on the south coast. Not that there was any snow or porn mags. Well there, might have been, but there were beaches full of nude women and unisex shower facilities so you tend not to need additional material.
     
    Rosco, Dec 19, 2006
    #15
  16. Gue

    Guest Guest

    'till the ferry went'

    A new name for wanking off.
     
    Guest, Dec 19, 2006
    #16
  17. Jay

    Jay Well-Known Member

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    You've got wanking on the brain

    The lass with the enhanced tits been about this morning?
     
    Jay, Dec 19, 2006
    #17
  18. Gue

    Guest Guest

    It's cos I'm not a gentleman. nt
     
    Guest, Dec 19, 2006
    #18
  19. BIG

    BIG BROTHER New Member

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    Whats brown and sticky

    <font size="7">a stick[​IMG]</font></p>
     
    BIG BROTHER, Dec 19, 2006
    #19
  20. JLWBigLil

    JLWBigLil Well-Known Member

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    What's the most popular wine at Christmas?

    I don't like sprouts.

    What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus?
    Claustrophobic
     
    JLWBigLil, Dec 19, 2006
    #20
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