LOL at TFP item on Oakwell 1575 AM

it was the condensed versionff ff

 

why what was it?

 

RE: why what was it?

he said that he needed to be away from the well today, but would be happy to take part in the future, and why is never any soap in the bogsff

 

They actually read that rubbish out?

I actually said:

It's been a very unsettling time for Reds fans.
Decents performances, but poor results.
Poorly timed Radio interviews and bickering in the media.
Boardroom unrest & the Manager being sacked.
Loan players coming in & one of our best players leaving.
Caretaker Manager put in place, but then an Assistant appointed.
The average Reds fan is confused.
Some are disheartened.
Others are angry.

So ... what I'd really like to know is:
Why are the soap dispensers empty on match days?

Your assistance in getting to the bottom of this matter would be appreciated.

Regards,

TFP.

 

RE: They actually read that rubbish out?

Yes I did mate.</p>

And the other piece that you sent too.</p>

Good stuff, cheers!</p>

 

No worries.

My team of drunken Monkeys took nearly two days to write that.
They've worked wonders for Gaz in the last few years, but I think he sold them to my 'cos they're past their best.

So - did you read out that I thought BFC was like a mentalist, stalking girlfriend ... one that, sometimes, you just need some time away from?

I listened to some of your commentary.
You need to use swear words ... that would liven things up.

 

RE: No worries.

Yes I did read it all out, even the piece about Allen working out that you can get 16 points from 5 games.

 

RE: No worries.

He he.
I bet he was well chuffed with "he'll need to take his shoes & socks off to count above ten".

Suggestions for livening up the commentary:

(1) Take it in turns to put on the regional accent of the opposition
(2) Use nicknames for the players
(3) Wear fancy dress
(4) Karaoke at half time
(5) Have a section of the commentary in French
(6) Introduce a feature called "guess the wageslip", where the club provide the wageslip for a player, you announce the important details & fans phone in & guess whose it is - the winner gets a night out with Kevin Donovan
(7) Let the fans vote off the worst commentator of the day
(8) Have Jay & Wayne do a "homosensual slot"
(9) If the game is dull, make stuff up - like a dog on the pitch or a floodlight failure
(10) Get some Northern Angels in & give them a tousing during the commentary ... he shoots, he scores.

No need to thank me.

 

Number 4

Does that mean we have to offer an invite to Twin?

 

Nah.

Twin are suggestion number (10).

I'd also like to see a section where you interview the players pets.
I understand they have the following animals:

Colgan - a tank full of stick insects
Howard - a pot bellied pig
Reid - a sloth
Hassell - an albino ferret
Kay - a chinchilla
Hayes - a chameleon
Richards - a boa constrictor
Nardiello - a beagle
Knight - a dwarf rabbit

Shame McIndoe left - he's got one of the finest collections of butterflies in the northern hemisphere.
You'll have to put up with Togwells slugs instead.

You need to get Ads on & discuss turnstiles for all the above.